I get hot and sweaty and feel like shit afterwards.

Have you tried swimming? Hot and sweaty definitely won’t be a problem there.

For the record though I also hate cardio. It’s fine at levels which I can sustain for hours on end, that is, not jogging pace, definitely not interval training, but hiking pace. If you want interval training without grinding your brain field sports might be an option, it’s different when you have teammates and a ball.