Oh I can do German-style comedy too, but as an American.
A Democrat and a Republican walk into a bar. They fight and both die in the hospital. Their families have to each pay $80,000 for medical expenses, then both families sue the bar. The bar closes, the owner divorces, spirals into alcoholism, and commits suicide. Then the funeral director buys a new house.
Translated Hungarian joke:
The Székely and his son go into the forest to cut trees. When cutting a tree, the son says:
“Goodbye, my beloved father.”
“Why are you saying a farewell to me?”, asks the Székely.
“Because the tree is falling on you.”
An angry Ontarian calls a radio show, and complains about all the Newfies coming to Ontario to take the good jobs. “We aughta build a wall to keep them Newfies out!”
Next call to the radio show is a newfie: “Owshegettinonb’y? Ye by’s be havin’ any jobs bildin tha’ wall or wha’?”
(How are you doing? You guys have any jobs building that wall, or what?)
The farmer and the farmhand are out in the field working. Suddenly the sky closes in and it looks like rain. The farmhand says to the farmer: “If we don’t hurry now, we’ll get soaked here.” The farmer says to the farmhand: “Then go into the house and get my wellies!” The farmhand says: “Why me? Why don’t you get your wellies yourself?” The farmer looks at the farmhand angrily and asks: “Who’s the farmer? Who’s the Farmhand?”
The farmhand goes into the house in a rage. The farmer’s wife and her pretty daughter are sitting at the kitchen table. The farmhand says to the two of them: “The farmer said you two should get naked so I can fuck you.” The two women look at each other. The farmer’s wife is surprised: “No, I don’t believe that. The farmer would never say something like that, would he?” “Yes, he would,” says the farmhand. “But I can ask again just in case.” He goes to the kitchen window and opens it. The farmer’s wife has followed him and is standing next to it. The farmhand shouts out into the field: “Farmer, both of them?” The farmer looks at the window and shouts back: “Both of course, you idiot!”
In case people are wondering: it’s indeed a german joke.
It’s a pun. “meet” and “hit” are using the same word in german
So it’s a misstranslated joke then. With that information it’s kinda funny or at least it makes sense.
That joke used to work in English.
By c. 1300, of things, “to come into physical contact with, join by touching or uniting with;” also, of persons, “come together by approaching from the opposite direction; come into collision with, combat.”
https://www.etymonline.com/word/meet
It still can mean collision or fight, but the context needs to be very clear. Two armies meeting on the battlefield, for example. Or two hunters met in combat.
That’s why translation can be so hard, especially for poems, songs, comedy etc. Double meanings, metaphors, rhymes etc are often lost when translated.
In some cases you can replace a pun with another pun that works in the target language.
In other cases, where you’re translating a religious text, doing something for scholarly reasons, or you otherwise think your audience would really like to know what’s going on in a text you have to add a translation note.
Come to think of it, that’s a thing in Swedish as well - we could make the pun work there as well:
Två jägare träffades. Båda dog.
Båda dog! Båda dog! No Treåt
(I know å is pronounced like “eu” like in Blåhaj. Couldn’t help myself tho)
For it to match Swedish phonetic rules, it would have to be:
Bäd dågg! Bäd dågg! Nåu trit!
Oh true my bad, thank you!
Well, doing it in properly phonetic Swedish would have ruined the joke a bit in English, so I don’t think it’s a problem.
A Båda dog once bit my sister… No realli!
Works in Dutch too.
Twee jagers treffen elkaar. Beiden zijn dood.
Another one from Saxony.
A man drives his car to the junkyard, looking for replacement parts. He greets the owner and asks:
“Windshield wiper for a Trabant?”
The junkyard owner thinks for a moment, then replies:
“Sure, sounds like a fair exchange.”The Wikipedia page on East German jokes has a few Trabant jokes.
-
What’s the best feature of a Trabant? – There’s a heater at the back to keep your hands warm when you’re pushing it.
-
A new Trabi has been launched with two exhaust pipes – so you can use it as a wheelbarrow.
-
How do you double the value of a Trabant? – Fill it with gas.
-
The back page of the Trabant manual contains the local bus schedule.
-
Four men were seen carrying a Trabant. Somebody asks them why? Was it broken? They reply: “No, nothing wrong with it, we’re just in a hurry.”
-
How do you catch a Trabi? – Place a piece of chewing gum on the road.
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To explain the joke, as is tradition in Germany. “To meet” translates to “treffen” in German. Which can also mean “to hit something or somebody”.
Once had a multicultural family gathering where we translated the same joke into several languages.
A man knocks at a door. A woman opens and he says: “Hello, my name is Toulouse. I’m here to fuck your daughter.” The woman screams: “To what?!?” He answers calmly: “Toulouse.”
„Hallo, mein
meineName ist Umberto und ich bin hier um Ihre Tochter zu ficken“„UM WAS???“
„Umberto.“
So I’ve been learning German for a couple of months. Wouldn’t it be “mein name?” 🤔 because presumably Umberto is male?
Buy yes, funny joke 😂
Male or female, it’s always “mein” because “Name” is a male noun.
Vielen Dank!
“To meet” translates to “treffen” in German. Which can also mean “to hit something or somebody”.
Join the shooting club, meet new friends.
This is a kids pun joke that got lost in translation. Treffen can mean either to meet or to hit (like with a bullet).
Want a funny German joke? Why don’t ants go to church? Because they’re insects!
As an immigrant in Germany, that’s the reason people think Germans aren’t funny. A lot of the humor is pun-based (and sometimes there are many, many more layers, making them actually very good jokes), which just doesn’t translate well.
«done is done said the moose and walked over the river and became a reindeer.»
in norwegian done rhymes with deer, and reindeer rhymes with clean.
In the early 80s, American scientists and engineers produced the smallest precision drill bit ever created. With great pride and fanfare, they sent it to their West German colleagues for study and reproduction.
Just days later, the engineering team received a parcel. In it, a note: “Thank you for letting us test our equipment” and the original drill bit with a hole drilled through its center.
I know a variant
endingof this:I messed up a bit. They were sending the thinnest wire they could build.
Just days later, the engineering team received their
drillbitwire with a note attached: „The description got lost on the way. We didn’t know what to do with the rod you sent us, so we cut an internal threading into it. Best regards!“
These two are from Romania, specifically about people from Ardeal (the region encompassing Transylvania) - which means they’re aimed at the fact that people from Ardeal are slow (haha, so funny, Southerners…):
- John and George were out on the field reaping all day and were heading back to the village. Suddenly, it starts raining fiercely, so they huddle under some walnut trees and decide to spend the night there in case it wouldn’t let up.
Later on, while sleeping, George is suddenly woken up by a foul smell. “John,” he said softly, “did you fart?”
“No, George, must’ve been the dog.”
“Oh, ok.”
A couple of minutes pass, then George suddenly has a realisation: “John, the dog isn’t here, though…”
“Oh, don’t worry,” says John half asleep, “I’m sure it’ll turn up eventually.”
- John, George and Mary were at the bus stop, waiting for the bus. They’ve been there for half an hour, sitting.
“The bus isn’t coming,” John says softly.
After a couple of minutes, George replies matter-of-factly: “it’ll come, I’m telling you.”
A few more minutes pass, then Mary chimes in: “if you two keep arguing, I’m walking home.”
German humour is no laughing matter!
What’s yellow, and waiting? Jonathan.
e: i promise it’s not racist
What’s the joke here?
In french, Jonathan sounds like ‘jaune attend’ (yellow waits)
omg
I was trying to make it work with German
Hahaha what would it sound like in German? gelb warten?
yeah, a while ago they tried that in france as well
Pffft.
And people say Germans have no sense of humour.
Life is like Belgium. Sometimes you just have to push trough it.
Wenn ist das Nunstück git und Slotermeyer? Ja! Beiherhund das Oder die Flipperwaldt gersput!
Bitte was?
Danke!
💀
Zer ver zwei peanuts walking down der Straße. Von vas assaulted … peanut.
Girl goes to a store and asks: “do you sell pantyhoses?”. The salesman replies: “why? Do you have half an ass?”
