That’s a terrible philosophy. When I want to go somewhere I don’t just shrug, hope for the best, and start randomly driving.

I didn’t know they sent The Rock to space.

I’m so glad I never fell for the cloud gaming scam.

Reporting live on the moon, I’m been Jenna, uh … Horowitz. Yeah. Jenna Horowitz.

Thanks for saddling us with the Orange Jackass, Hilary. We could have had Bernie but nooooo, you just had to shoulder him out of the way. Bitch.

It’s just so easy to manipulate into a dictatorship!

Oh just one more thing. You claim to want the Nobel Peace Prize, but you keep starting wars.

Hold on let me check something. Yep, the American revolution still happened.

She could be doing it to hurt her idiot husband. Her motivations don’t have to be good. People (inadvertantly) do good things for bad reasons all the time.

Yeah but I don’t put my shirt tail on my face.

Oh I still wash my hands all the damn time. Covid made me a germophobe. Also I’m disabled and live at home so.

My maternal grandma smoked enough that she developed emphysema in her old age and it’s the most disgusting goddamn thing.

We have a strange suspicion that she was secretly trying to remind everybody that the Epstein Files are still a problem.

I haven’t touched a door handle with my bare hands in years. Paper towels, coat sleeves, the bottom of my T-shirt - whatever it takes.

That’s just a sloppy lowercase I. I do the same thing every time I sign my name.

Because they know that they won’t suffer any repercussions. Our government is going to keep throwing free weapons to them because they’re complete fucking idiots.

Hey an electric blanket instead. It’s somewhat weighted AND scan be used to keep yourself warm.

Queer icon? The dude had a wife.

Apparently 1 - the entire human race.