Between grocery prices and 12 different streaming services who keep upping their prices, we’re getting gouged on the bread and circuses too.

Agreed, but they’ll inevitably fuck those up too.

The day a dildo comes with WiFi and an integrated accelerometer. The vibration function is $7.99/month. For an extra $3.99/month, it extends three inches. I’m not sure why I joke about that, I’m sure it’s already a thing.

Sophisticated computer scripts

if (request) { Connection.Stream(video); }

I’m embarrassed that it took me two days to get this.

Yeah, you guys try making 20-30 xitposts a day. He deserves pay that is best expressed in scientific notation.

EA charges for the last four letters, they’re DLC.

We paid for cable and streaming services too. They’ll milk us to dust, then run ads on the remaining pile.