• jaschen@lemm.ee
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    2 days ago

    I used to work at the bank and bank robbers are almost always caught. Not because they didn’t get away from robbing the bank. It’s because once they do it once they continue robbing banks and one day they will get caught.

    We regularly get reports for bank robbers that hit a branch. They typically hit another close branch, but we lock our doors the second they pull up.

    • Trollception@sh.itjust.works
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      2 days ago

      Huh? So like you see someone drive up and you’re like “yea that looks like a bank robber, better close the bank”? I mean bank robbers don’t have any signage so how would another bank know to close/lock the doors? Not making logical sense to me

      • jaschen@lemm.ee
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        1 day ago

        Sometimes they have the plate numbers. But we sorta know when someone is coming in to do bad things by the way they are driving into the parking lot.

        Most drivers slowly pull into a parking lot. Find a spot near the branch door. Gather their stuff. Slowly walk to the branch doors.

        A bank robber drives into the lot very fast. Doesn’t bother finding a spot. Rushes out the door and is constantly looking around.

        I only been robbed once and prevented a handful of times. We caught the girl who robbed me because we recognized her.

        I remember being a teller and we would play games guessing what people were coming into do. Talk to a banker or deposit or cashing a check.

        • Trollception@sh.itjust.works
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          20 hours ago

          Wow crazy, so you have actually been robbed? Well hopefully it’s a one time thing! Never worked at a bank so I didn’t realize these things actually happened in real life.

          • jaschen@lemm.ee
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            19 hours ago

            Ya, they give names for the robbers. Lol. I remembered they had a guy named The Valentine bandit. Because he first robbed his first branch on Valentine’s Day. Some of them get silly names like Fake Limp man.

            Most robberies are very discreet. Mine was just a note and flashed a gun.

            Also note to any would be robbers. You don’t need a weapon. We always comply. A few bucks is not worth our lives. Also if you even show a weapon or implied you have one, you literally increase your charge from robbery to robbery with a deadly weapon which just increased your jail sentence 5 times.

      • Jiggle_Physics@sh.itjust.works
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        2 days ago

        “We just got robbed by a man in this car, who looks like this”

        “Oh, a man in a car that looks just like that, just pulled in, better lock the doors”

  • kersploosh@sh.itjust.worksOPM
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    2 days ago

    I just Tineye’d this one after I posted it and it’s older than I assumed. Sorry if y’all have seen it a million times.

  • Deconceptualist@lemm.ee
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    2 days ago

    I know it’s popular to hate on Duolingo these days, but it prepared me for this situation:

    Warum hat der Dieb keine Maske getragen?

    War der Dieb wirklich mit einer Banane bewaffnet?

  • some_guy@lemmy.sdf.org
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    2 days ago

    I think this was my first good laugh of the day. Also, he sorta looks like a skinnier version of Lonnie, which made it slightly funnier.