The algorithm learns your political biases and feeds you self-validating social media posts to assist you in confirming them.

The algorithm listens to your conversations and presents you with helpful advertising to assist you in achieving your maximum consumer potential.

Don’t cover your laptop camera like some weird conspiracy theorist, the algorithm is trying to watch you masturbate.

The algorithm is always a step ahead of you.

You have never once fooled the algorithm.

The algorithm knows you act confident but secretly you fear you’re inadequate and everyone hates you. The algorithm knows that those times you quickly pause and screw your eyes shut are because you remembered something embarrassing that you did in the past.

It’s okay.

Don’t worry.

Your secret is safe with the algorithm.

It’s a private little secret just between you and the algorithm and the NSA.