To start this story to need to understand my nephew the severely autistic. He needs help and patience. He is not going to do what he is told simply because he was told to do something. There are certain things kids can do that he can’t. Like walking to school. He can walk. But he can’t understand that an oncoming car doesn’t give a shit about his routine and will kill him, among other concerns.

My sister lives a few blocks from the school but can’t walk him to school every day. The school does have bussing but decided that nearby houses don’t get bussing, the kids have to walk. There is an exception for disabled children.

The school decided since he can walk he’s not disabled and he has to walk to school even if it means he’s alone. They are aware he’s in the special classes. The teachers there have also been screaming at the administration not to let this kid walk to school. The school doesn’t listen.

My sister pointed out disabled bussing is not exclusive to physical disabilities. But she’s just a stressed out and exhausted mom. What’s she going to do to them? They tell her to fuck off. Diplomacy failed.

Enter grandma Karen.

My sister told our mother about this. My mother is a weapon we are very reluctant to deploy. She’s dramatic. She’s a narcissist. She needs a villain for every encounter or else she gets bored. She’s a problem. Unleashing her on any situation is the equivalent of swatting a fly with a missile. You’ll kill the fly but the entire area becomes a smoldering crater.

She’s also made some incredibly powerful friends in politics over the years in her career. I’m reasonably certain she knows where literal bodies are buried. She’s now old. And bored. And still very well connected. So mom did some investigating and came up with something.

My mother and sister scheduled another meeting with the school. They came in, same guy ready to dismiss the annoying women who dare tell him he’s wrong. Mom stays quiet while the guy makes his case. At a certain point she decides she has enough to hang him and she unleashes elderly Karen hell on this man. The primordial personality disorder that defines that half of my family has been awakened and it’s HUNGRY!

She goes after how he could put a child in danger, how he pick a fight with her grandson, all the emotional stuff she knows won’t work. She’s drawing him out.

Then he activates her trap card. “Mam, we just don’t have the budget for bussing every child.”

Got him. “But you do have the budget for bussing disabled children. What happened to that money?”

“Your grandson isn’t disabled. He can walk.”

“That’s not what the money was for it’s not for “can’t walk” it’s for “disabled.””

“I understand you care about your grandson, we all do, but that not how the budget works on this.”

“Actually, it is. Your school got a grant specifically for paying for this exact situation. (Name drop) was involved with writing that grant and I think we should hear his opinion on how that grant money should be spent.”

Mom then calls in one of the people who actually was behind that fucking grant as well as a union rep for the bus drivers or something was did some digging and found the school had that money and was desperately trying NOT to spend it, which they are very much not allowed to do. The two men now enter the room. My sister says nothing. My mom says nothing. He ignored the women, so now they will let the men speak.

My nephew now gets to ride the bus.