Switching schools. Thought maybe masking my autism would do good for finally having friends.
Here’s what I did:
1- Sit on the third line: not too much back, not too much on the front;
2- Get pretty. Bracelets, jacket…
3- Watch them talk and imitate what they talk about when they talk to you.
Well, didn’t go this well. Still getting ignored (I like to joke with my brother that “Neurotypicals have autism detectors”).
Where did I miss it? I tried joining some conversations I heard, but they were pretty unkind at me after that.
It’s a difficult communication style to emulate, especially when its not very compatible to your natural style.
There is also a very real risk of it becoming very bad for your mental health to the point where you want to kys… because you can lose track of the real you while trying to chase acceptance from people who are inclined to reject you based on surface-level, emotionally-driven judgments.
So here’s what you do. 99% of people you don’t want to put your energy into. You are searching for rare, high-quality individuals who make their relationship judgments based on character rather than persona.
The rest aren’t worth your time. That’s not to imply they are worthless or bad people, but you will waste your energy and self esteem trying to build connections that wont work. Find the people who are actually awesome, you won’t need to fake anything.