WASHINGTON—Doing her best to appear elated while a large, throbbing vein protruded from her forehead, former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton said she was ‘really, really, really happy’ for Vice President Kamala Harris as she shook the presumptive Democratic nominee’s hand and refused to let go of it. “So, so, so proud of you for this huge accomplishment—there is no one more deserving of this than you,” said a stock-still, unblinking Clinton, who, when panicked advisors quietly asking her to release the presidential candidate’s hand, only widened her smile and clamped her fingers tighter, causing Harris’ bones to audibly crack. “Oh, don’t worry about us. We’re just two strong women having a great time. Ha ha ha. Girl power! Right, Kamala? Just think, you could become the first woman elected to the American presidency! What could possibly be better than that?” At press time, Clinton was reportedly being dragged away after pulling Harris in for a hug and attempting to snap her neck.

I found this satire piece to be absolutely delightful, capturing the potential rage that Hilary kept under wraps after it was announced that Trump won. It was a disappointing time, as that orange clown got the better of a far more fit person to serve in office.

  • LostWanderer@lemmynsfw.comOPEnglish
    93·
    4 months ago

    I personally saw the writing on the wall and made an active choice to dodge an orange stained bullet! To me, Clinton was the most boring candidate. However, I felt she would’ve provided stability which the USA needed while someone who could shake up the USA like it needs was found. I regarded her with neutrality because she kept her feelings fairly locked up, but I didn’t see her as the type to completely fuck up the US like Trump would.

    Trump was so disruptive and toxic, I dreaded waking up every morning to see what new fresh bullshit would have happened while I slept.