I grew up an avid gamer. But now, among my 50-hour work week, helping my kids with their math homework, grocery shopping, and house chores, I’m no longer able to find enough free time to really dive into a game. I mostly play casual games that I can drop in and out of but forget about the 40hr+ games requiring commitment. Despite not having the free time to game like I used to, I do enjoy watching my kids play while I’m doing other things around the house and then listen to them telling me about their accomplishments afterwards. I would like to hear from community members with similar circumstance about how you manage your time.
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Steam Deck and Nintendo Switch. Instant pause/resume is invaluable.
My son is 11 months, and if I didn’t have my steam deck I would probably not be gaming at all right now :) That instant off/resume is absolutely amazing.
It’s mindblowing how smooth (and fast!) suspend/resume is on the Steam Deck.
This 100%. The only games I’ve managed to finish in the past ten years are on Switch or a portable system.
I picked up a Switch thinking it would always be attracted to my TV. Maybe it was for a bit, but when my child came along the only way I used it was handheld and for spurts at a time.
That’s how I knew the Steam Deck was an instant buy for me - the pause/resume is key.
Steam Deck and/or Switch on the couch while watching TV/Movies is great. Especially if it’s something you’ve seen a dozen times.
I wrote a piece of software that does this for any Windows game as well after my first kid was born. Obviously doesn’t work for multiplayer, but it allowed me to play games when he was still waking up 5 times each night.
Cheat engine has a speed multiplier that can be set to 0, which worked in several (offline) games for me.
My thing is a global key bind on the pause button. So I hit one button (or Fn+P on my laptop) and I don’t have to think about anything else.
My thing is a global key bind on the pause button. So I hit one button (or Fn+P on my laptop) and I don’t have to think about anything else. And it works for every game, regardless of cheat engine support.
Nice! I haven’t run across any offline games that won’t let me use CheatEngine’s speed multiplier, including flash games, but I would be interested to know if you’ve run across any!
Just one kid or stair step kinda kids? You are lucky, and nice job on the scripting!
One back then, two now, but the second one was much, much easier in every way.
My 3 year old still wakes up 3-5 times a night 😭
- Sneak the time when you can
- Play games with them
- Wait until they are 12 (-ish) and they decide you are uncool
Otherwise, you’re doing what I ended up doing. There was a long span that, I just… never played games because I was too busy. I regret that a bit because it’s a thing that makes me happy and even if I’m “Dad”, I’m still a person that deserves some time for “me”.
This more or less. My wife games too. We went through periods where we probably gamed too much and had to correct that behavior (house was becoming a mess and kids ignored school too much)
For us it put a decent amount of pressure on our marriage for a while until we admitted that gaming needed to take a backseat to life in general. Its hard. I grew up with gaming and both my wife and I were 8+ hours a day of MMO before kids. But life demanded we become adults for a while and be responsible.
My kids are finally on the older side where their demands on my time is lower. I still don’t game much before dinner and most house chores are done. I try to game with them a bit after dinner and then I get about 1.5 to 2 hours to play a few League of Legends games (yes, I know i hate myself) if I don’t want to ruin my sleep.
I found a job that doesn’t ask me for 50 hours a week and they go to bed at a reasonable hour. But don’t ask me what I’m not spending enough time doing, like working out. Or how much we spend on takeout (way, WAY too much). And on top of that I have pretty great family support.
Basically, it’s hard even under ideal conditions with some less than great compromises.
It’s one of those “season of your life” kind of things. There’s just a certain period of time where the family takes priority because of what the kids need. Just like everything else related to kids, at some point it will change and your time management will as well. They will become more independent, and you’ll have more time, but you may even find that your interest in gaming has changed.
Games will always be there, but your kids are only kids for a very short amount of time. Treasure it while you can!
50-hour work week is a LOT. At least around these parts. I hope you’re working remote so you don’t have commute on top of that. Either way I don’t doubt it takes a serious dent into personal life. I’m a working parent and the main family cook, but I’m remote and on a 35-hour work week so I get a couple of hours to unwind every day of the week, which includes plenty of gaming.
I’m not remote but luckily I live close enough to work that my commute is only around 15-20 minutes. The 50-hr schedule has more to do with the nature of the job rather than 50-hrs of actual labor. I do find I have pockets of free time throughout the day but sneaking in some gaming while I’m at the office doesn’t seem professional. Yes, perusing forums and surfing the net isn’t either but at least it looks like I’m replying to emails.
Steam deck. Pop it out. Play a bit power it off
Recently my wife and I agreed on me having one set night a week for gaming and it’s been great. I get my gaming time in but it’s a reasonable amount considering all the other responsibilities of work and parenting
One night of personal time for each parent is the real LPT here.
We have this as well. Wednesday night is CS GO with the boys for me. Sometimes I skip it, but it’s nice to have it planned out, when everything else feels like chaos.
Mostly stay up late before a day off when the kids finally go to sleep.
at night when everyone is sleeping.
My girls are still only 1 and 3, but so far I’m sneaking in an hour or two in the evening, after everyone else has gone to bed. I’ve started introducing the older one to Pokemon Go and Let’s Go Pikachu, and she loves it so far despite not knowing much english. Hopefully I can get them into gaming so we can have that in comon 😄
I have never been into Pokémon before my kids started to play Pokémon GO a couple of years ago. It was really nice to have a pastime that we all enjoyed.
They still play occasionally but I became hooked on Pogo. So you might find new gamed when playing games together with the kids, be sure to give it a try if your kids are playing it.
Embrace mobile gaming. Especially the classic Nintendo handhelds. I can rock my baby to sleep and play Pokémon Ruby on my GBA at the same time. Embrace RPGs and other games where reaction times don’t matter. If I’m sat in a chair with a sleeping child I can even play a game where reaction speed matters, like Tetris.
Get a flash cart so you don’t have to switch games or carry a library of carts with you. Keep it in your car for play if you’re out a lot. Oh, and get a decent modern screen mod so you can see the screen outside.
I’m not a fan of mobile gaming but thanks for the suggestion.
It seems like they were more referring to like those retro emulator handhelds. Mobile gaming usually refers to Android/iOS games but it doesn’t seem like that’s what they meant.
5 year old and an 18 month old. I used to work nights so I’d basically have three hours a night from when they went down, to when I had to leave for work. Unfortunately working nights wasn’t tenable anymore, and as such I now work days…and get significantly less time to game.
If I’m lucky, both kids are in bed at 7:15. And if there’s no bedtime theatrics…I can usually carve out 2 hours to play, three if I’m feeling risky (have to be awake at 4:30).
Bedtime theatrics is a joy of parenting!
The kids will really remember the times they sat down and played games with you. So you end up trying to make the best out of roblox and minecraft to find a nice balance of everyone being happy.
I haven’t played any game meaningfully at all for 2 years since having a kid. There have definitely been times I tried to force it: early in the morning, late at night, on my mobile on the bus. But in all cases it led to more strain on my mental resources or sleep deprivation. I still occasionally listen to a review about a game or video essays while I do chores, but my relationship with games seems to be at a much greater distance for the foreseeable future. There have even been unexpected gaps of time where I get 2 hours to myself, but I realize that playing the game instead of taking a nap or making a nice meal would just drain me.
I come to accept the above because I think having kids does offer me a sense of role, challenge, and storyline that were the most attractive quality about games to me. I still miss playing them but I would for sure pay the tradeoff to keep being a parent anyday.
Joining the parent club in about 3 months, but in preparation, I’ve purchased a “Couchmaster lapboard” and I cannot recommend it enough. Having shoulder support basically makes it feel like you’re sitting at your desk but comfortably on the couch. The only issue is the couch itself; if it has a lot of bounce you’re gonna have a wobbly desk any time someone sits / stands up from the couch.
Btw I’ve since found you can pretty much just buy some upholstery foam, cut it, put a plank over it and have your very own “Couchmaster” for roughly $20 instead of $200…
Congratulations! I always appreciate the creativity of new parents trying to find ways to keep life the way it was. Not to discourage you from trying, but I honestly hope you can succeed where most of us have failed.
I’m not too worried. I’m already gaming less and less just out of personal lack of interest. Modern games just don’t do it for me, and I’ve accepted I have become part of an older generation. Once in a while it’s fun to play a new (or old) game that piques my interest, and when I have some time to kill I might play a round of Overwatch.
But yeah totally recognize that for those who still game many hours a day there’s not going to be a perfect solution. Your gaming hobby WILL suffer. But that’s probably a good thing; tiny human is the bigger priority (until they’re old enough for player two…).
I have twins that are just shy of 2. First, I play way more mobile gaming. The ability to play only a few minutes at a time makes a huge difference, so multiplayer games are largely out.
When not mobile gaming, Xbox’s instant resume is a godsend. I’ve made it through the entire Yakuza series playing in small chunks and instantly resuming when I can.
