I need to dump this somewhere so please ignore these very long rambles. This has been a week.
very angry venting
Still bitter and angry about the 15% rent increase and the consequent spiraling of how much it costs to exist. Part of me wants to move on and settle it asap and block it from my brain and beat myself into submission, another wants to distract myself from it completely, both want to get away from the volcano of absolute rage that’s ready to spiral out of control and burn everything in its path.
Alright, let’s have at it: FUCK you, LL, for trying to come across as understanding or nice, you are NOT my friend, I believe NOTHING about how much you “value” me because if you did you wouldn’t be slugging a fucking $75/week increase BECAUSE AT THE END OF THE DAY, YOU FEEL ENTITLED TO MAXIMISE YOUR PROFIT OUT OF PEOPLE’S NEED TO HOUSE THEMSELVES. This is not a relationship you “value” by demanding more money JUST BECAUSE YOU CAN. Just keep it to what it is, this is a TRANSACTIONAL RELATIONSHIP and if you had a smidgeon of empathy you wouldn’t fucking highball it at first opportunity. Fuck the fuck off with your attempt to be personable and magnanimous. I will keep my angry outbursts here because I’m not an idiot and I will stay civil but I will NOT grovel. I will be offering absolutely no more leeway on inspections, maintenance, etc. And fuck if I’m going to do a complete spotless clean of the place when I leave - I’m claiming my bond the second I’m out and you can fucking take it to vcat over fair wear and tear for how much you’ve fucking earned from me over the years especially as you don’t even need to pay REA fees. You will get absolutely no more energy from me. You’ve taken enough. Go get fucked and I hope you DO get worse tenants here on out who make your life a nightmare. Enjoy being a bloodsucking leech.
and now for the part where I try to calm myself down
Sigh… Okay. Now the positive of this whole shitshow is, it puts some fire under my arse to sort out my job situation and motivates me to finish up my business in Melbourne and get the fuck out. I’ve been wanting a change in scenery for ages - first it was “once lockdowns are over”, then “once I get PR”, then “once I quit my job”, then “once my niece settles in”… but this time is it: once I finish up uni in June I am GONE. I knew that studying would involve an earning hit and it was something I needed to invest in for myself. That I’d need to pay myself a bit to get it done.
So, here it is. I’m going to honour my commitment… but the clock has been set. I’ve been drifting for quite a while trying to get from one week to the next… now at least I know I am approaching the end of a chapter. Closure is coming. I won’t forever be stuck in this helltrap of running faster and faster just to stay in place. I will slam the book shut on all the covid/work/friendship yucks, and clear out space in my life for a fresh start. There is relief and determination and growth amidst the anger, and the deep-seated fear and anxiety of not feeling safe and secure of my own housing. I used to feel sad about possibly leaving Melbourne some day, selling up my things, giving away my plants: now I’m honestly ready. will change the narrative. I do not have control over everything, but I will not be a victim; I have so many more options than I used to… I have value beyond paying off someone else’s mortgage. I will not be beaten down into misery. I will change the narrative.
and now for some practical steps forward...
Cathartic release/dump so I can feel okay enough to go back into my home - tick.
drs appt for mental health referral - tick.
Look at cost of comparable rentals in area as benchmark.
Look at what my finances and working capacity is; budget for mental health.
Come up with compromise rental $ amount, take a deep breath, and send brief email to LL. Remind myself I will have 60 days from official notice. I will be OK.
check EBA for notice period for job I have to quit
Draft resignation letter and handover actions
Schedule chat with other job about bringing hours up
Start writing down moving out ideas. Who gets what. Which things to sell off. What services to cancel. Clearing out the pantry slowly. Etc.
I need to keep telling myself - I got this. This will be a challenging period going forward. Thank heavens for the cat. Speaking of:
All I can say is I feel the abject rage towards REs and LLs in my soul and relate hard.
I believe in you, and the list and changes you want to fulfill and make happen. You are intelligent and strong, and you will find peace and happiness away from this place 💜
Thank you 😭❤️ It means a lot to receive empathy as I have noone at home to vent to and I can’t keep it in. I’m just done with trying to survive on my own here, I need to know there is an end point. It doesn’t help that I messed up the maths on the amount and it’s actually a 21% increase ($115/week). Hahahaha get fucked srsly.
I’ve already ticked off a few things on the list - at least I have a better idea of timeframes to act on and what my options are. It’s a constant battle convincing my nervous system that I’m not trapped, I’m safe, I have a way out, I deserve to exist. I’m so worn out, I’m going to bed.
I hear you. I’ve been on both sides. As a LL where it didn’t cover all expenses not to mention damage just due to having average tenants, but c’est la vie. I’ve probably been a tenant for more years than a LL and I’m generally chill if the rent is stable to point of taking care of easy repairs, but yeah, when it keeps going up, then for sure, you need get them to maintain the property. Even the small things we lodged to get done, some of it has been done by the most dodgiest, useless tradespeople, ever. Definitely don’t bother going out of your way to be accommodating. After a certain point they don’t care anyway.
Only thing I can appreciate is that I’ve been in this one long enough to make a case for aircon. That only took about 5 years (been here longer than that).
I need to dump this somewhere so please ignore these very long rambles. This has been a week.
very angry venting
Still bitter and angry about the 15% rent increase and the consequent spiraling of how much it costs to exist. Part of me wants to move on and settle it asap and block it from my brain and beat myself into submission, another wants to distract myself from it completely, both want to get away from the volcano of absolute rage that’s ready to spiral out of control and burn everything in its path.
Alright, let’s have at it: FUCK you, LL, for trying to come across as understanding or nice, you are NOT my friend, I believe NOTHING about how much you “value” me because if you did you wouldn’t be slugging a fucking $75/week increase BECAUSE AT THE END OF THE DAY, YOU FEEL ENTITLED TO MAXIMISE YOUR PROFIT OUT OF PEOPLE’S NEED TO HOUSE THEMSELVES. This is not a relationship you “value” by demanding more money JUST BECAUSE YOU CAN. Just keep it to what it is, this is a TRANSACTIONAL RELATIONSHIP and if you had a smidgeon of empathy you wouldn’t fucking highball it at first opportunity. Fuck the fuck off with your attempt to be personable and magnanimous. I will keep my angry outbursts here because I’m not an idiot and I will stay civil but I will NOT grovel. I will be offering absolutely no more leeway on inspections, maintenance, etc. And fuck if I’m going to do a complete spotless clean of the place when I leave - I’m claiming my bond the second I’m out and you can fucking take it to vcat over fair wear and tear for how much you’ve fucking earned from me over the years especially as you don’t even need to pay REA fees. You will get absolutely no more energy from me. You’ve taken enough. Go get fucked and I hope you DO get worse tenants here on out who make your life a nightmare. Enjoy being a bloodsucking leech.
and now for the part where I try to calm myself down
Sigh… Okay. Now the positive of this whole shitshow is, it puts some fire under my arse to sort out my job situation and motivates me to finish up my business in Melbourne and get the fuck out. I’ve been wanting a change in scenery for ages - first it was “once lockdowns are over”, then “once I get PR”, then “once I quit my job”, then “once my niece settles in”… but this time is it: once I finish up uni in June I am GONE. I knew that studying would involve an earning hit and it was something I needed to invest in for myself. That I’d need to pay myself a bit to get it done.
So, here it is. I’m going to honour my commitment… but the clock has been set. I’ve been drifting for quite a while trying to get from one week to the next… now at least I know I am approaching the end of a chapter. Closure is coming. I won’t forever be stuck in this helltrap of running faster and faster just to stay in place. I will slam the book shut on all the covid/work/friendship yucks, and clear out space in my life for a fresh start. There is relief and determination and growth amidst the anger, and the deep-seated fear and anxiety of not feeling safe and secure of my own housing. I used to feel sad about possibly leaving Melbourne some day, selling up my things, giving away my plants: now I’m honestly ready. will change the narrative. I do not have control over everything, but I will not be a victim; I have so many more options than I used to… I have value beyond paying off someone else’s mortgage. I will not be beaten down into misery. I will change the narrative.
and now for some practical steps forward...
I need to keep telling myself - I got this. This will be a challenging period going forward. Thank heavens for the cat. Speaking of:
and now for something completely different
Number one. The White Area of Do-Not-Touch.
All I can say is I feel the abject rage towards REs and LLs in my soul and relate hard.
I believe in you, and the list and changes you want to fulfill and make happen. You are intelligent and strong, and you will find peace and happiness away from this place 💜
Thank you 😭❤️ It means a lot to receive empathy as I have noone at home to vent to and I can’t keep it in. I’m just done with trying to survive on my own here, I need to know there is an end point. It doesn’t help that I messed up the maths on the amount and it’s actually a 21% increase ($115/week). Hahahaha get fucked srsly.
I’ve already ticked off a few things on the list - at least I have a better idea of timeframes to act on and what my options are. It’s a constant battle convincing my nervous system that I’m not trapped, I’m safe, I have a way out, I deserve to exist. I’m so worn out, I’m going to bed.
hugs
I hear you. I’ve been on both sides. As a LL where it didn’t cover all expenses not to mention damage just due to having average tenants, but c’est la vie. I’ve probably been a tenant for more years than a LL and I’m generally chill if the rent is stable to point of taking care of easy repairs, but yeah, when it keeps going up, then for sure, you need get them to maintain the property. Even the small things we lodged to get done, some of it has been done by the most dodgiest, useless tradespeople, ever. Definitely don’t bother going out of your way to be accommodating. After a certain point they don’t care anyway.
Only thing I can appreciate is that I’ve been in this one long enough to make a case for aircon. That only took about 5 years (been here longer than that).
You have got this. I hope you feel better. 🖤