Ok, I have no idea why this bothers me and I don’t even know what to call it. My husband is a “come here” guy. Something he thinks is interesting and wants to show me - hey, come here! Nuclear apocalypse - hey, come here! Why the hell wont he just tell me why he wants me to get up, trudge to wherever he is, so that he can reveal the surprise like some sort of performative art ? I never know if it’s going to be legitimate, a disaster, or something stupid. The walk to wherever he is is insanely stressful because the whole time I’m running through all possible horrible scenarios (we’ve had a lot of issues at the house lately so I never know if I’m going to find water in the basement or raccoons in the attic or a hole in my foundation, or just him looking at a funny cat video). I’d rather he say “hey, babe, something is happening wherever/whatever, come see this.” Instead I have to have the whole performance and reveal and I fucking hate it. Anyone else know what I’m talking about or am I just mental ?
That sounds awful. I dunno. I mean, at the heart of it all, on some level you’re allowing him to continue this behavior by going to him each time. If you don’t go, he has to either keep calling until you give in, or if you don’t give in, he can get pouty about it, yell about it, or eventually come and actually find you.
If you stand your ground and refuse, eventually he has to change his behavior. But, getting to that point will be very uncomfortable. So the question is, how much do you want things to change? Are you willing to go through that discomfort to get your needs met?