The word futa or futanari is a term I unfortunately see used against trans women and actual intersex people. It is a term which originated in porn and anime to describe someone with both types of genitals, usually though it just refers to someone who looks feminine and has a penis. So it’s no surprise it’s very often used to describe non-op trans women primarily. Because it’s often used in porn it carries strong connotations of sexualization and dehumanization, it reduces the person being called futa to an object of sexual desire and doesn’t respect them as a person.
This term is extremely disrespectful and really has no place being used, especially in reference to trans women. Additionally because of its relation to porn people who use it will almost certainly be seen as chasers.
The term is universally objectifying and sexualised when used against trans people, because it defines trans folk by their genitals and does so in a sexualised way.
It’s one thing for a trans person to use the term for themselves, but yes, if someone else comes along and uses that term at a trans person without explicit consent, it absolutely deserves a ban and will get one.
And from your perspective, this is the end of the discussion. If you come back with more arguments or pushback against gender diverse folk talking in their own communities about terms referring to us, you will be getting a second instance ban. It’s time to take onboard what you’ve heard, and bow out of this conversation.