No, the FIRST monkey to write Shakespeare used a feather and ink.

It only took a couple hundred years after all those millions for them to be written on the typewriter.

I feel like everyone deserves at least one job related “fuck you” style moral victory in their lives and that qualifies for sure.

For me it was when the WORST manager I have ever had called me back a year after I quit to ask me to come work for her again and got to laugh in her face and tell her I’d have happily accepted half the pay at her place to scrub toilets as long as it wasn’t working with her, but instead I was making double what she paid me to do my dream job.

I’ve never done cocaine, BUT I’m pretty sure I know what it feels like.

No, it says the kidnapper gave him to another couple who raised him. The relationship of the kidnapper to those people, what they were told, etc is unclear.

This is legitimately so wholesome from start to finish. No “orphan crushing machine” vibes - just a reminder that most people are generally decent and helpful humans.

From the sound of things, he took the money to help an abuser get his rape victim back ----- eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeshhhh

Life hack for OP and anyone else who ends up in this situation:

• Take boxed cake mix of your choosing.
• MOSTLY follow the package instructions. However:
• Add one extra egg (for example, if it calls for 2 eggs use 3)
• Substitute oil with 2x butter (for example, if the recipe asks for ⅓ cup oil use ⅔ cup melted butter.)
• Simple, easy, pro-tier cake.

Fun fact: even “regular style” crutches are not actually supposed to rest in your armpits! You are supposed to hold onto the arm portion and use them similarly to the above crutches. When we adjusted that for the spouse, we had to shorten the crutches by like 2-3 inches and he said it was WAY more comfortable.

There are some videos on YouTube by physiotherapists etc that were supremely helpful - recommend giving them a quick watch and readjusting your crutches.

Source: spouse recently broke the hell out of his foot and also Had Shit To Do™.

I never saw that one - do you have a link?

Noise Complaints Georg

How is one in a “drive on the left” car and one in a “drive on the right” car?

I was reading the wiki for Tollund man yesterday, and I believe they actually took a fingerprint from him.

That’s pretty identifiable, I think

You know when you get called out so hard you have to laugh your ass off? Like, give em the W, they earned it?

No, no, people will give up if it’s just one. You need to do two chests, marked #1 and #3. Film a #2 being buried also, but dig it up immediately.

Core memory unlocked, I forgot about this book!

Pho!

In another life, I attended a large geology conference and went to a session with talks about this. They had two speakers back to back, one boiled down to “it was the asteroid” and the other “it wasn’t the asteroid”.

Not only did the speakers get heated in each other’s question sections, the whole ROOM felt like it was about to get into a fistfight - everyone basically taking over each other to the person to their left, right, front, back. Extremely hostile!

I can’t remember the evidence but I do distinctly remember thinking that it wasn’t my subject matter and I should probably avoid forming an opinion on it for my physical safety in my career.

Now I’m free to offend paleontologists both professionally and unprofessionally and I can’t remember how to :'(

Sent a relatively new and somewhat nervous co-worker a “grandpasimpsonleave.gif” responding to the 8 billionth mutual emergency of the day followed immediately by “I kid, I kid, we’ll fix it! 😉 [Relevant follow up question]?”

Guess which of those two messages was the last one unaffected by the outage? Yep. I got to watch her devolve into a panic as her messages reached me and my responses didn’t get sent to her, and THEN delivered in the worst order/selection possible. Felt like the more critical the message, the less likely to send.

And! She’s on the other side of the continent and all her location’s phones are through teams also! And it was time sensitive.

Rough Friday.

This is such a five-head move I had never considered before and I WILL be stealing it

Thank you random internet genius, I am sorry I don’t have a solution for the damp pillowcases to give you in return

I moved to Edmonton, AB from the US South and holy crap, the darkness is unreal. Even the locals struggle with this pitch-black 4pm nonsense.

That said, the city has a lot of focus on indoor spaces that really saves it. I used to go to West Ed mall just to walk around somewhere without a coat for free, you know?

The real gem of the city is the Muttart Conservatory though - and a year-long pass is like $30?? For an indoor rainforest??

Makes it worth living in the winter.

Sometimes true, but not in this case.

Various other proposed explanations why the unusual attack occurred included that the coyotes might have been larger and bolder than normal coyotes because they were crosses with wolves or domestic dogs, rabid, starving, or protecting a carcass.None of these suggestions were subsequently borne out

They just got tough and mean on their own.