• 0 Posts
  • 58 Comments
Joined 1 year ago
cake
Cake day: June 30th, 2023

help-circle


  • I agree with the others but here is some advice when you are happy being alone.

    Don’t let the search for a gf become a large part of your life again. I was on all the dating apps and whatnot thinking I was ready to have a gf and I still think I was. But the search started consuming me i spent an hour or two a day reading profiles and going through pictures to try to find the right one. i would read the bios of girls and think about how perfect we would be together and swipe on them. If a girl swipped on me even if she wasn’t up to my standards I would swipe just because… maybe if I give her a chance… it would work.

    After maybe a year of that, numerous dates and spiraling depression I realized what it was doing to me. I found a half way decent dating app and canceled all the other subscriptions. Then I just started trading it as a game, 5/10 minutes here or there throughout the week and that was it. I was in a much better place. Fast forward 3 months and my gf actually swiped on me, fast forward a year and we are expecting our first kid.

















  • I get that, in my experience it was just weeding through the bad ones. I had my fair share of un matches/ghosts/a holes.

    I also hated taking pictures of myself and had a mediocre at best bio. What worked for me was not getting emotionally invested in the apps/matches.

    The matches that i got and went out on a date or two with i was very up front that i was still using the app. It wasn’t until our 4th date that my partner and i deleted our apps.

    Anywho, just wanted to share some hopefully positive advice. You will find the right one for you! Just have fun with it and try not to take it seriously


  • Yeah, that’s how i started using them as well, it just increases the odds. I went through a phase of “wanting to be in a relationship” and that was the focus of the apps for me. I would read every bio and then decide if i swipe right or not and think about how we would be good for each other. That was taxing and took a lot out of me emotionally.

    Eventually i realized it really is just a numbers game. So i just looked at pictures and if i liked them swiped right. Then if we matched i would read the bio and have conversations.

    That being said i was the one that got swipped right on and am thankful to have deleted those apps a year ago. I feel for those that are stuck in the online dating hellscape.