Well goddammit, we’ve got a genuine freedom fighter here in our midst, waging war against the (wink wink nudge nudge) ZIONISTS. Are you a member of the legendary 104th Battalion, the Keyboard Snipers? Or are you part of that new 88th Battalion, the Fighting Dogwhistle Luftwaffles, deploying out of your parents basement?
I’ve heard they’ve hidden three immeasurably invaluable CS:Go Knife skins throughout the platform, and the first person to find all three will unlock Half-Life 3 and annoint the winner as Gaben 2, God Emperor of Valve and owner of Steam. Also, they get a chocolate factory.