Bollocks, well played.

Unless you’re a Mormon, then this is lies

Are you me?

Very true. There’s also the issue of giving birth. Women would have to be spun around like salad in a spinner in order to simulate Earth gravity but I imagine that’s a perk for Elon.

The reason you’re not ever living on Mars is that it has no magnetosphere. Good fucking luck surviving any length of time with constant ionising radiation slapping the shit out of your DNA. This fact alone should have shut down any discussion of feasibility about colonising Mars.

Although it does make the three-titted chick from Total Recall way more realistic.

Yeah, I dunno about that considering he promised to end world hunger if the UN could show him how the money was used. They did and he essentially told them to fuck off and donated it to himself instead: https://truthout.org/articles/musk-pledged-6b-to-solve-world-hunger-but-gave-it-to-his-own-foundation-instead/

Er, what? If I look at the clock and see it’s 0955 I know exactly that it’s 35 minutes. Same for every other example you give. If it’s 1252, it’s so easy to add 8 minutes then add whatever it is more. And you can do that for any time. Say 1017. “Oh no!” Never fear, the just add it to the time wangs are here: +13 to 30 and woah! Easy, foolproof and actually intuitive

Good grief, that might be the worst customer service job I’ve ever heard of. I’ve worked Sainsbury’s ‘head office’ - which was just the outsourced customer service centre for people who phone store chains to complain about cucumbers - and that was bad enough, but at least I got some good stories out of it (“My watermelon has exploded and I’m afraid of the second one. Can a man come round and take it away?” First ever call).

You were getting Mail readers who are already a self-selecting group of thick cunts and you were getting the worst of them. Jesus Christ, that must have been rough. So, so happy for you that you’re out of that, I can’t imagine what that would do to someone’s mental health!

The second last time I went to a dentist, he told me I had been brushing my teeth wrong. Cool, bought the TeethIoniser5000 plus recommended toothpaste from his suggestion.

Last time I went to the dentist, he told me that I was still brushing my teeth wrong. “But the last guy?”

“Wrong. He was wrong.”

Every fucking dentist has told me whatever way I brush my teeth, I’m doing it wrong, so fuck them. Now I just use my finger.

Don’t do that, as I have one tooth left I use to open cans.

I’m genuinely thankful you’ve made it this obvious how much of a fucking moron you are as I can block you immediately and get on with my day.

Okay, if we’re getting serious about it, I’m not sure I agree cruelty scales up alongside intelligence. It’s an interesting take, but, as you say, it’s an entirely human concept which doesn’t really exist outside of our own conceived morality and can’t be applied to beings which aren’t capable of understanding it.

Put it this way: a cat batting a mouse around isn’t considering its actions cruel or even considering its actions in a wider context at all. A human doing the same would be doing both. However, by that logic, animals aren’t capable of any other abstract thought such as compassion, empathy and altruism. We are. It might be the case that everything abstract scales up with intelligence which, yes, leads to concepts such as ‘cruelty’ but also all the other amazing shit humans are capable of.

Sorry man, but I can’t stop laughing at you calling an entire animal species ‘evil’. Not only that, but ‘notoriously evil’. Like there’s a chapter in the Bible devoted to the tale of a dolphin riding Jesus up his dead arsehole.