“In addition to everything being on fire, some lucky people will also be offered a small, mandatory stipend of fire.”

Catfish? What do you mean? Would you really call a delicate, wet creature like me a catfish?

As their song goes, “there’s a schism between us, baby.” Or, perhaps more relevantly, “it’s like he’s theologically 46 and mentally 2” from their album Vaginal Biome Destruction.

Thanks! I’ve definitely put work into getting this swimmer’s body

I don’t see why he’d want it to stop. He’s been actively destroying the US for the overwhelming majority of his presidency. If he benefits the US at large, it’s major news to me. A stone rolling downhill shouldn’t be news.

Frick, you’re right. I didn’t notice the shape of the controllers until just now. Definitely a mega drive, not an Atari.

Bro, what? Why would you say that? You’re crazy. What? No. I’m definitely that. Here’s a nude pic to confirm!

I agree. It would be absolutely terrifying if I were just swarmed by titties on Halloween. Blinded by their assault on my unshielded eyes. Held in place by both my terror and the unyielding heft of dozens of breasts against my hands. That would be haunting.

I still have no clue how people were convinced to look like fucking tiny Tim. And these goofy short sleeve button up dress shirts? Who’s teaching these kids this nonsense??

Snes and like 2 ataris?? My body is currently screaming at me to [legally acquire] some nostalgic roms.

Minor aside but the number of games that try to be pole position, but worse, is absolutely baffling.

And consuming more porn than their parents by far. You wouldn’t suggest that vegans have a smaller appetite because they’re no longer eating animal products, right?

Uhhhh, blame! fits the bill. I’ve recently started reading it after stumbling upon the movie. This might sound like low praise, but I can’t figure out any other way to describe it without trampling over some facet of its mystique. It’s worth the time

Why do you say that?

At first I thought this was stupid, and it is for other reasons, but then I realized that gen z and alpha in the US might legitimately need counseling. Teens and young adults are having less sex. I’d imagine they have a similar sex drive compared to previous generations, but their outlet is themselves.

An app will never be the answer, but there’s assuredly an average number of sex addicts currently feeling shame for a basic human instinct gone haywire. If not for the fact that I’ve been hearing middle schoolers talking about gooning, this thought would never have struck me.

Iirc, wasn’t flash deprecated because of unpatchable bugs that created a gaping hole in your browser security?

As I once heard it, “practice makes predicable.”

I dunno, I’ve been in plenty of porn and sex shops and the atmosphere was usually reminiscent of a convenience store with sparkles. It’s genuinely not a big deal, unless you begin spontaneously masturbating in the aisle. Paying for porn again, that’s the weird part for me.

“So just ball bludgeoners 2, heavy breathing from the closet 42, and my little cumshot: friendship with benefits. Will that be all?”

“Toss in a tube of KY and a hemorrhoid cream. Mama’s going cave diving tonight.”

I once watched a 2100 ELO player lose to a 1200 ELO player for this exact reason. The instant I saw the game turn around, I could only pity the advanced player for expecting the novice to predict anything. Afterward, the advanced player was bizarrely shaken by the loss. I wish I had saved the replay.

The odds of winning between 1200 and 2100 is what, 1/1,000? It felt like seeing a unicorn.

Edit: 1/179

I mean, not using a corruptible president is just leaving money on the table. It’s not like-

“…his vocal support of President Donald Trump”

I hope he develops a debilitating gambling addiction so he might one day experience hardship again.