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Cake day: July 14th, 2023

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  • Rachelhazideas@lemm.eetoMemes@lemmy.mlI'm right, right?
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    1 year ago

    Again, I never said to stop venting. I said to stop diminishing the value of unpaid labor.

    Whether OP was referring to alimony or assets. It doesn’t matter. It’s the same general sentiment the vast majority of people have over divorce, which is that the party performing unpaid labor doesn’t deserve to be compensated.

    To dismiss this is as a non-issue is incredibly invalidating to people who have suffered as a result of unpaid labor ruining their career and livelihoods. This rhetoric of divorcees who were not holding a job deserves nothing is exactly the stigma that spouses performing domestic labor is subjected to, and what encourages people to attack divorcees over.

    Telling people that this isn’t a real problem is not only unhealthy, but actively perpetuates the stigma against domestic laborers are their perceived ‘lack of contribution’ to the economy when the truth is that world runs on the backs of unpaid labor.




  • This isn’t related to the article, but I wanted to pick at the ‘benefits of slavery’ question.

    I think it’s important to acknowledge the ‘benefits’ of slavery, because it’s important to remember who it benefitted and at who’s expense. To claim that it benefits no one would be to deny the greed and callousness that spawned these human rights abuses.

    Slavery in the past has brought massive advantages and benefits to many people today through the accumulation of intergenerational wealth, at the expense of minorities who are still systematically denied access to this wealth. To claim that these benefits don’t exist would be to diminish the scale of issues slavery has brought, and is still bringing, to modern day.



  • Rachelhazideas@lemm.eetoMemes@lemmy.mlI'm right, right?
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    1 year ago

    I didn’t tell them to stop venting. I’m telling them not to use phrasing such as ‘taking all MY hard earned money’ which implies that free spousal labor is not a meaningful contribution and dismisses the value of unpaid labor that billions of spouses, mostly women, contribute to the economy.

    What’s toxic is how you use your claims of toxicity to dismiss the very real issues of men downplaying the importance of unpaid labor in marriages and divorce.

    Venting isn’t an excuse for sexism. Please stop conflating healthy emotional expression with discriminatory language, and then claim toxicity when that gets called out.



  • Rachelhazideas@lemm.eetoMemes@lemmy.mlI'm right, right?
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    1 year ago

    I don’t know OP situation so I’ll reserve some judgment. However, I’m really tired of rhetoric about how alimony is always some evil scheme made to specifically destroy men in divorces.

    When people get married, often times one of them gives up their job and start performing unpaid labor. Sometimes neither of them give up their jobs, and one of them still has the majority of household burdens forced onto them, affecting their career and performance.

    Alimony is a form of compensation for the unpaid labor and it’s impact on that person’s career. More often than not, when people say ‘my ex wife is taking all my money’, what they are really saying is ‘I deserved free labor at the expense of my ex wife’.

    Granted, it’s possible that OP could be a domestic abuse victim in which case alimony is a whole other form of fucked up. But if that’s not the case, then please stop.