Seems like it is actually their stomachs turned inside-out

Now here’s a game were calling the remake “reforged” actually works really well

something fucked with your attachment style at some point in childhood

Ha, if that ain’t the truth with me - and people claim you can’t diagonse people over the internet from just their comments. Although I guess if I were to use the outdated terms, I’d definitely have both mommy and daddy issues in that case.

Yeah, that was clearly just the group having fun, sounds like it might have been some kind of in-joke. Stuff like keygen music and adding extra fun stuff to your cracks has always been part of the culture. For the most part, while I’m not saying there is zero risk, but as long as it’s from verified groups with good reputation, your pirated software will be safe to use - also part of the culture.

Oh, I just realised (English not being my first language), I meant “just” a psychiatric clinic, not a criminal psych ward, I guess that’s the confusion part showing on my end, lol.

Thankfully, no manic phases for me, but I met several people over the course of my life that had them (one woman I had a short relationship with used to tell me about the stuff she ended up doing during manic phases in her past, oh boy, it can get both scary and funny, but always interesting). I can fully believe and understand that he would have been genuinely sorry in that moment and appreciative and glad to have heard that from you. Another patient only hearing half of it makes it quite funny, I wonder what he thought in his head about the context with seeing the other guy go “oh thank god”.

Wait, so if I have that same thing as a cishet guy, does it mean I have mommy issues? Or… female focused daddy issues? I always knew my sexuality was needlessly complicated

I know there have to have been even weirder ones I got over the years, but what stuck with me is when a nurse in a psych ward psychiatric clinic called me (a patient) being like a “weird, confused professor” as a genuine compliment.

Mayo + Ketchup combined, the classic “Rot-Weis”-combo in Germany.

That or, preferrably, mayo + a good chilli sauce

For anyone wanting a single click link: !poetry@lemmy.world - some good stuff there

Wenn ist das Nunstück git und Slotermeyer? Ja! Beiherhund das Oder die Flipperwaldt gersput!

So, I recently learned about my own autism, also in my 30s, and I have begun the process of consciously unmasking quite recently - not a lot of experience yet.

What I’ve been doing is using my overactive self-reflection that was honed from going undiagnosed and being high-masking, to analyse where I might have been masking, what behaviour I might have done just to fit a specific role. For example, today I accepted some cake that a friend advertised in a group chat, that no one else seemed to want. In hindsight, while it was delicious, I was neither hungry for it, nor did I want to deal with the stress of him coming over to deliver it. But when I reflected on it, I realised I actually did this because I had internalised it as behaviour that is conducive to social connection, and “what is expected of me” when someon offers cake, even when I now very much feel the stress of having been interrupted by the offer, by accepring it, by getting myself ready to leave my apartment, actually going outside to meet up, the smalltalk involved, walking with a cake through the street afterwards. All stuff that actually stressed me out quite a lot.

While waiting for him outside, I allowed myself to close my eyes, listen to music and rythmitically drum on my thighs consciously - something that I know I repressed completely before, without even knowing. Unlike in the decades before, I also did not focus on thoughts of self-loathing like “why is something so simple so hard for you? What the hell is wrong with you?”, consciously pushing thoughts and feelings like that away as best I could.

At the moment, I am very much still sorting what even is behaviour that comes to me intuitively from “myself” and what is a mask - mostly by reflecting on the amounts of stress and overstimulation I feel after the fact, and then trying to consciously avoid the things that I realise, after the fact, were most likely long internalised masking behaviour.

That all being said, I also try to appreciate my masks as something I can go back to as a talent, when the tradeoff of their use is worth the additional stress. Being able to speak publicly, being able to look people in the eyes/face if needed, and other things, are good to have in some situations.

Interesting, I only very recently learned I have actually been autistic, finally explaining the weirdness of my past three decades+, so I am not knowledgeable about what language might be preferrable. Self-stimulating behaviour? I can only speak for myself that I actually do like the term, to me, it has a nice sound, one of those words that, to me, feels good to repeat aloud to myself.

I feel that, I am currently on a waiting list for an official diagnosis I managed to organise with the help of my current psychiatrist. For me, here in Germany, I searched for “adult autism diagnostic” on maps, and it gave me a clinic with a department a few kilometres away in a big city, with their waiting list being roughly a year long.

Resources for autistic adults are super scarce, considering how many undiagnosed people have gone undiscovered from lack of awareness in the past decades.

Same here, sometimes I feel actual shame, which is ridiculous, but it works for me and hasn’t let me down so far in the past years

Oof, I haven’t touched shaders in Godot myself yet, besides a very simple section during one tutorial, so maybe I should not give any advice, but I think this can be solved by applying the shader to the pond and adding a check for transparency before applying the changes to the pixels.

I ran an instance for a while out of curiosity a few years back - building the database seemed to work fine and appeared like a good idea, had a lot of fun to see the connections with other servers and my crawler filling holes of unknown spaces. But I think the search algorithm itself was (most likely is) not sophisticated enough, it just did not give relevant results often enough, and it was extremely vulnerable to very simple SEO tactics to push trash to the top.

Yeah, blast it loud enough to drown out any other noises, tinnitus, thoughts, just music and stimming pls

So am I correct in guessing it at least (if quartz sand) can be used for microchips and the likes? I hope the rough sands aren’t extrated just to be used in something, were other, less scarce sands could be used - but I could at least imagine stuff like economy of scale, existing infrastructure and special interest of the established industries could actually cause that.

That is a great way to explain the difference, saving that one for reference.