growsomethinggood ()

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Joined 2 years ago
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Cake day: September 30th, 2023

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  • Hello! USAmerican here, studying mainly French y un poco español, and I definitely hear your frustrations. English is several languages disguised as one, and I can’t imagine picking it up as a second language! It’s really unfortunate that it’s so ubiquitous online.

    Coming from the other side of things, gendering in language does feel very strange. What does it matter to me if the dog is male or female? Unless I’m looking up close, I probably don’t even know for sure. And even less so for nouns that are genderless in English. In learning romance languages, I was always taught to default to male (which can also be true in English in many cases) but that also feels like priming the mind to make male experience the default and female the secondary, you know?

    Also, for they/them, this is very commonly used as a singular in English outside of specifically nonbinary people, usually when you don’t know the gender of the person in question. An example might be, “someone left you a note, but they didn’t sign it.” I believe this has recorded usage back to Shakespeare’s writings!


  • Hey, cis (bi) wife to a trans woman here, I can comment a little bit. I always was out as bi (leaning towards women) in my relationship, so that was pretty chill for both of us. My wife didn’t know exactly where she was going to end up sexuality wise, but has settled into bi as well. It’s a little scary to shake things up in a long-standing relationship that way! My wife and I are doing great, but I definitely have had friends in a similar situation get divorced, even when the non-transitioning partner is bi or pan. Good communication is important, so I would encourage regular check ins, even about the sensitive stuff.


  • Not to defend the US on pretty much anything, but there’s basically tiers of chocolate. Low quality mass produced chocolate (hershey’s, kit kat, etc) is almost always waxy, overly sweet, and sometimes has that weird butyric acid additive. Mid tier is like your Ghirardelli: popular nationally but more expensive than your low tier chocolate, still often quite sweet but you can at least get dark chocolate. High tier is usually regional artisan chocolate. I like Theo in the PNW but I think that’s going national lately.

    All of this is NOT a recommendation to buy these chocolates of course. Go get Tony’s Chocolonely if you can find it.