This is an onion article, right?

Now that you bring it up, of course we’ve studied whether babies can be made in a spaceship. It’s literally the only other option for interstellar travel besides cryogenic freezing, which is far more sci-fi than spacesex. Or spacex for short.

If only there was some way to warn people of serious weather conditions. Maybe in 100 years the tech will exist to predict, notify, and evacuate people in a timely manner before the storms arrive.

Theaters are really testing the limits of the bullshit its viewers will sit through.

Bad like brian over here. Signed up for lemme just to be kicked off the first server. Hopefully it’s an extremely rare event. If world goes down, I’m out.

I hear Digg is close to launching its beta or whatever…

Smells like the fascists want a new party.

Haha get fucked republicunts.

She is picking a fight with the billionaire oligarchs and unfortunately it seems like a losing battle. Democrats and republicans alike will campaign against her.

Manufactured crisis to enact a police state.

Don’t use their app. Web only.

I’m just over here constructing roads and shelters for my fellow porters. Something so relaxing about the game that scratches an inch I didn’t know I had.

Sell it all in red states only.

Looks like Elon took the “shut your stupid fucking mouth up” advice. Too bad the damage to his image is irreversible. Oh well. I’m afraid I’m all out of tiny violins as well.

I’ll get the bathtub prefilled with water, just in case.

Because that worked so well last time.

I ain’t seen the video so it ain’t viral

“Rapid unplanned decommission”

Yeah these cars MUST get to their red light traffic as soon as humanly possible or their lives will be absolutely RUINED.

I fear the day drones are used in the US to cause harm. My job utilizes them almost every day, and I imagine they would be banned on a civilian level faster than we’ve ever seen the government function.

Probably the most addicting, infuriating game I’ve ever played. Got it for free too on PSN.

WOW!

and

What a save!

Trigger me to this day.