ugly bag of mostly water
don’t keep sweatin’ what I do 'cause I’m gonna be just fine
OP’s parents are in their sixties; they probably were born in the mid '50s to mid '60s and started dating in the '70s/'80s. Courtship probably didn’t factor in unless they’re Mormons or something.
Edit: I re-read and realized OP said his parents are almost 60, meaning almost definitely started their dating lives in the '80s.
If you walk up to random people in a cafe, park, or embankment (really?) and ask for their numbers
So I think this is the disconnect. This isn’t window shopping; you’re trying to connect with another human being. You need to take the time to talk with her, see if she shows interest by engaging and encouraging the conversation, and if there’s any commonality or chemistry between you.
Then, if you think there could be something there, offer to give your number rather than ask for hers. It will help her feel safer with you, and she can choose whether or not to accept and if she takes it, she can choose whether or not to follow up. It puts the onus on her to move things forward.
The social expectation was that the man approaches, but now enough women have said that isn’t acceptable in so many situations that it’s no longer safe to do so in practically any situation.
AKA, “A, B, and C aren’t appropriate, so D through Z aren’t safe either!”
Dude rather than accept some much-needed constraints, you’re having a hissy and throwing the baby out with the bathwater.
Context matters a lot, which means you need to put yourself out there in the right context to meet someone. Examples: trivia night at the local bar, or a book club, or a local live music show. Most women aren’t gonna be interested if you approach them while they’re just living their lives grocery shopping or at the gym* or something - that’s not a social context. (*Unless you’re regulars at the gym and run into each other and chitchat all the time, but I’m assuming you’re not in that kind of situation.)
Once you’re in the right context, and you see a woman you’re interested in, start by very casually talking to her, and keep an eye out for signs of interest (e.g., turning in their seat toward you which indicates they’re giving the conversation real attention, or moving the conversation forward by making jokes or asking follow-up questions) or disinterest (e.g., one word answers with no follow-up engagement, turning their body away from you, mentioning a boyfriend). If you see signs of disinterest, just stop and let her be. But if you see signs of interest, continue the conversation. Don’t be too needy, don’t come on too strong, let the conversation breathe. And for godsake don’t buy her drinks, it’s cheesy and puts too much pressure on a new situation. Especially don’t buy her a drink without even asking her first, it’s pushy and I can’t speak for all women, but I fucking hate that. Ask her about herself, for example her interests. Try to get a gauge on whether you’re attracted to her on more than a physical level. If you have nothing in common, or you think she’s boring or annoying, there’s no sense in moving forward. But if there seems to be commonality and interest, keep the conversation going! If one of you is leaving, tell her you’re glad you ran into her that night and ask if you can give her your number (or email address or social media, whatever young people do, I’m middle-aged so I don’t know). But the important thing is that you’re offering her something rather than asking her for something. This means she can say no, or if she says yes, she still has the choice on whether or not to follow up with you. It puts the control in her hands which can make her feel more safe.
Good luck, I hear it’s rough out there for folks your age.
Animé from ages 15-18. It was the mid-to-late '90s and only the weird kids were into animé. My social life improved immensely when I grew out of that phase.
TNG and DS9 are pretty much tied for my all-time favorite. I think both did a great job writing believable characters and conflicts, with compelling standalone episodes and arcs (although to be honest I really hate the pah-waith bits in Seasons 6 & 7 of DS9). For the most part, I both liked and cared about all of the main characters and thought they faced interesting and complex problems that didn’t always have perfect solutions.
VOY and TOS are fun in their own ways but more like comfort food than a whole meal, if that makes sense. As a woman I certainly wouldn’t want to be a crew member on the Enterprise during TOS, and as a viewer I have to work really hard to ignore the rampant sexism, but can still appreciate it for what it is. VOY is mostly fluff but it does give us interesting stories like Year of Hell. I don’t think I’d be friends with many of the crew and sometimes the writing of these characters is frustratingly uneven (especially B’Elanna, which is a shame because she’s my favorite of the bunch). I do think VOY suffers from showing a pristine ship for most of its run (which is one reason Year of Hell stood out so much for me). And I hate the stupid catsuit, heels, and makeup on Seven. She’s a former Borg drone, none of that is functional or pragmatic. (Obligatory ‘Fuck You, Rick Berman’.)
I’ve watched ENT twice but wasn’t crazy about it (my favorite characters were Porthos and Shran). SNW is alright, not great but engaging enough for me to stick with it. I particularly like Number One, M’Benga, and Chapel (and Hemmer, RIP). I don’t like Kirk - he’s horribly miscast. Funny enough, Anson Mount has enough of Shatner’s mannerisms that with different hair, he could’ve been cast as a modern Kirk instead of Pike. But he’s doing a great job with Pike. The writers need to stop messing with Spock being “human” so much. And why are he and T’Pring having sex without pon farr???
DIS is a raging tire fire, I don’t know what they were thinking with that show. The writing was abysmal, the plot holes were humongous, the science was ridiculous (seriously, what on earth was the spore drive? And a sad kid caused the Burn? Give me a break!), the tech was completely discordant with what we know about the 23rd century, the characters were written like awkward and/or angsty teenagers, everyone was constantly sharing their feelings and traumas in the middle of a time-sensitive emergency, death was cheated so many times that the emotional stakes around mortality never felt that real (e.g., Culber’s resurrection via mushrooms, and sUrPriSe Burnham’s mom isn’t really dead, and also when Saru miraculously survived his Vahar’ai), Burnham was practically Space Jesus in that she was always the only one who could save the galaxy, continuity with the rest of Trek was broken left right and center, the Klingon redesign made no sense, and I hated how they wasted the Tal symbiont by making Adira just a painfully awkward teenager instead of someone with 5 prior lifetimes of experience to ground them (not counting Gray who was removed from the symbiont and was a kid anyway)… I could go on but you get the idea. I just finished hate-watching all five seasons and will never watch it again. To say something nice about DIS, I was grateful that none of the female main cast wore catsuits, and I loved the Stamets/Culber relationship - it felt real and lived-in.
I only saw the first season of PIC and that was a hot mess too, I really want to finish it so I can say I’ve watched all of Trek, but I need a palate cleasner first after forcing my way through DIS. Haven’t watched LD but people seem to love it so I’ll probably give it a shot, though I’m not nuts about cartoons. No interest in PRO since it’s for kids, and no real interest in TAS. I might give SA a shot but if it’s like DIS I’ll be bailing.
Welp you didn’t ask for a novel but my power’s out this morning and I’m bored, so there you go!
April 5th (First Contact day)
To be clear, I’m not the person you were initially responding to, I was just offering a reason why someone might not want to do a search on chris chan.
And yeah I still use google, I’m middle-aged and lame, it’ll happen to you too ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
I’m not googling it because based on this thread, this chris chan person sounds like a disaster, and I don’t want google thinking this is one of my interests.
Unrelated: I used to go to tech meetups in my city fairly often. There was one guy who always seemed to be there just for the food. I only knew him by his username (‘Lex R’ - a programming pun) and never talked to him. Tall skinny dude; if I had to guess, I’d say he was around 50ish.
Every meetup without fail, this guy ate so much pizza. One time I counted 11 slices. He also drank at least a 2L of soda - didn’t matter if it was diet or regular, he drank it. About 10 minutes before the meetup ended, he’d put a bunch of leftover slices in a pizza box to take with him. And he had a bottle of some kind in his bag that he’d pour the dregs of all the soda bottles into, and would take that with him too. It was weird because it was a tech meetup, presumably most people were making at least 6 figures.
Until today I had never considered that this might be his only source of food.
Man my View Master reels were way more boring than this
And the crucial “Break out of frames!” link which I always appreciated
Depends how cold the tube grubs are.
I sincerely doubt this is true, but if it is, it’s not funny, it’s fucked up - she had sex with him under false pretenses. He deserves to know who he’s having sex with.
You’d have to be an absolute moron to trust them with that much sensitive data.
Welp like I said in another thread… Delco gonna Delco ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Yup, women have something similar: “perfume should be discovered, not announced”
A couple of things:
I don’t know what to tell you man. There are people all through this thread telling you it’s not as dire and impossible as you seem to think it is.