

Pretty much what the other comment said. Your understanding of socialism seems tainted by rightwing criticisms that misrepresent socialism, communism, etc. I’m not saying this as an insult or anything, you’re obviously not a rightwinger, but it’s a common issue because almost all of us live in a rightwing system and grow up learning this way.
Participating in capitalism does not make you a bad socialist, it’s simply necessary for survival. This is similar to the argument against a country like China, suggesting they aren’t really socialist because they participate in the global, capitalist economy. But if they didn’t do that, they’d never create the conditions to move forward.
Like yeah you could live in a commune or something, but that doesn’t really do anything and honestly seems worse than just living a “normal” life and trying to radicalize people around you. Basically we gotta change more than our own lifestyles and until we are in a position to change the system, there’s not much point in trying to figure out how to be a “good socialist” under capitlaism
Everyone suffers under capitalism on some level. Most of us can’t really escape things like alienation from our work, communities, etc. Even the billionaires are losing their humanity, though most of them don’t even realize it.