You’re not responsible for all of your partner’s feelings and needs, only for supporting them as they work through theirs (she may need therapy). Have you talked to her about how this or asked her what’s going on? Is she silently or openly pressuring you to put all the focus on her, or are you just fixated on it in your head? Have you had a real conversation about what each of you need in the house and in the relationship? It is not healthy to feel like you don’t have your own life, but it’s hard to tell without more info how that pattern started and why. She may have something going on that she needs help with, a conversation might fix it, or this might just be what she’s like. If you truly feel better without her, you may not be compatible. But if you want to stay with her, talk to her about how you feel and what you need, and ask her what she needs. Communication is key.

This is disheartening. Not surprising, but deeply shitty.

I find that slowing down and just meandering through the things I have to do more slowly and comfortably, actually helps when I feel burned out. Maybe with some music. Feelings of urgency/tension in my body actually sap my energy way too quickly, before I can even get started. So I focus on managing stress preemptively.

This is not applicable to everyone or every situation but it made a big difference for me.

I have memories of different therapy words that my divorced parent and others used to disparage their exes in the 1990s. It’s an awful circle. Nobody can just have normal conflict.

Thank you friend

Bad news, but also I am relieved to hear that Ricefail is an apparently common experience.

Yes! Switching around naturally when it feels right is the way. No more shame, just following the brain signals where they lead.

Every time I cook rice it comes out bad. Tips? I’d like to be able to make edible rice without purchasing an appliance. Movies and history tell me this is possible??

Clarissa-Jan Lim wrote a great article which called it ‘Panopticontent’. That phrase lives in my head forever now.

And not for the better. I think people are actually much less kind to each other when they are aware of being observed. Or worse, deliberately performing for content.

This one is SOOOOOO COOL though. Did not encounter it until I was in college

No one’s burying their head in the sand. They’re reacting to the fact that it sounds here like you are resenting women for talking about their own oppression. It’s not zero sum my friend. We know patriarchy hates men too. This specific article just wasn’t really about that. There are other places on Lemmy that are talking more specifically about the issues you raise here, though.

Your last paragraph here is very important. There are massive political implications to these kinds of family and group dynamics.

Gotcha. This is a valuable clarification. Thanks!!

I have a moto g 5g 2023 which is apparently different than the moto 5g, and an A9+ tablet. I found a thread talking about the difference and some regional reasons why my phone and others like it don’t always have support. It looks like versions of these OSes often just don’t exist for a lot of devices, because fewer people use them. The lineage website did have a lot of samsung devices listed though and might have yours, so there definitely are some options. But it’s not every phone, which sucks, but i think the warnings about bricking are real and not just discouragement.

Honestly opening up software on consumer devices should be the law and mayyybe one day it will be in the us (eu allowed some semblance of alternative app stores recently and that’s something? ) but I think those of us with the less common and budget mobile devices might just have to wait for now. Or continue living inside the matrix, as someone else here said.

Alas, it looks like none of the devices I own right now are actually compatible with Calyx, graphene or lineage right now. :( I own less popular models of devices, but I erroneously thought any android device would be interchangeable here when I first made this post.

I think a lot of people deep in linux and computer science communities might not realize that tons of people outside that subculture feel exactly the same way they do and want the same things, we just didn’t go to school for it. No one is trying to water down the niche spaces that are important to people or deny the hard work that was done by people in decades past. We just want to understand and do what’s been recommended to us, and information should be for everyone because the goal is increased adoption and digital freedom in society, right? Anyway this kinda means a lot coming from a person with your background so thank you.

Thanks for all this detail, I appreciate it!

Thank you!

We need an ecosystem of nontechnical tech forums for the rest of us. Real ‘define every term’ hours. I would start this if I knew enough.