Fénix (they/he)

Being a transmasc who is into computers, that causes its own kind of isolation because a lot of the trans-in-tech spaces, well… a carelessly-phrased egg joke in a transfem-heavy space hits as pressure to detransition if you happen to be a transmasc, and so the whole “teehee become a girl to be a True Programmer” meme culture feels hostile.

I see that case as an anomalous one because the tension I personally have there is: a person may be a god, but that doesn’t make that person my god, and I shouldn’t be required to behave worshipfully towards a god I don’t follow. I may choose to follow other religions’ conventions around how they refer to their gods and/or prophets in some contexts, but the idea of not having a choice in matters of religion makes me deeply uncomfortable. Respect between equals, which is what using a person’s pronouns generally is, should be automatic, but deference to authority should be earned in my book.

Call me Fénix. I’m a nonbinary trans man, in my mid-30s, started T some ten years ago and been on it most of the intervening time. Based in Portland, OR.

Have had hysterectomy and bottom surgery but got a full torso tattoo instead of top surgery, heh. I get euphoria from a lot of kind of old-fashioned or formal trappings of masculinity, like neckties and the like, though because I work in a less formal setting my standard uniform is a Hawaiian shirt.

I’m here because being a transmasculine person on the internet can be pretty lonesome. There’s lots of spaces full of transfems, or cis queer people, but places I can hang with other trans guys are pretty limited, especially for the kind of geek who doesn’t go on Facebook or similar. This is a place I feel community.