Bit of a shitty weekend. I don’t really have anyone to talk to about this, so I guess you guys are it. I don’t really wanna got into specifics, cause it may not happen and i don’t want this to be identifiable. So I started looking at apartments over the weekend. Somethings happened and I’m just not sure this is sustainable. To the point where a small 2 bed unit and 50/50 custody is starting to look appealing.
We’ve got couples therapy booked for end of next month (something I’ve been requesting for a while now). Will see if they can help us figure some stuff out.
This is the first time I’ve said this stuff out loud, so even hitting that Post button is… tough. like I’m making it real or somethin.
Hey man. Coupling and parenting is tough, believe me I know. Among other things the constant tiredness is really something that makes relationships hard, communication becomes really hard and misunderstandings, assumptions, and unfortunately resentment can build pretty quickly and easily. We’ve been going to counselling for about 18 months this time around, had a break before that and before that about another year with a different therapist. Seems like we are in similar boats as I was requesting it for a fair while before my partner agreed. If I can give you some advice for the counselling…try to go in with a completely open mind, as in don’t assume you know everything about the feelings involved, situational history etc. I had to come to terms with some stuff about myself pretty quickly that I didn’t even realise I did/do… If you both go in ready to work on things, ready to understand the others viewpoint, ready to be honest…that’s the best you can do. The people you were are likely still there, the things you love about your partner are likely still there, just that they’re being hammered by responsibilities that no one knows the full extent of before having kids. I hope things improve for you, and you and your partner can have some real understanding and compassion for each other.
so much this…it’s terrifying how quickly you can become antagonistic strangers to each other when you’re both overloaded and stressed out to fuck. And then you have like, a conversation, and his huge beast of this is the end in your head just becomes this silly misunderstanding.
Cheers. You’re absolutely right about communication. Never something we’ve excelled at. In retrospect really something we shoulda locked down BEFORE putting the relationship of a pressure cooker of a kid.
Hope it works out for you mate. It sucks, but counselling is a great first step. We did it after having our 2nd kid and it helped immensely.
Thanks! Yeah really feels like something we shoulda sorted before kid joined the party, but hey. If the best day to start was yesterday then the next best time to start is today.
Maybe the kid was the catalyst that was needed. It was for us. Our first settled into solid sleep patterns in like 6 weeks, our 2nd took nearly a year to sleep through the night. We were so edgy and grumpy we started to take little things out on each other.
the sleep thing does NOT help. Kiddo woke up 2 or 3 times last night, just makes things really tough.
Sorry to hear. Relationships are tough, especially with kids. Be gentle with yourself and try to respond to the situation and conversations rather than react/defend. Hope the counsellor helps, either way though, from someone who has had 2 marriages end before 40, leaving is sometimes the best option for everyone and life gets to be great again given time. Relationships are absolutely worth fighting for but its definitely not a failure to walk away
Hope the counsellor helps, either way though, from someone who has had 2 marriages end before 40, leaving is sometimes the best option for everyone and life gets to be great again given time. Relationships are absolutely worth fighting for but its definitely not a failure to walk away
Cheers, yeah agreed. No sense setting ourselves on fire to keep the other warm.
Sleep, lots and lots of sleep. If you can get a baby sitter over and just use the time to sleep.
don’t worry about bringing the baby into your bed to get some sleep, everyone does it
and hugs
Woops. Apparently had a tiny bingle while parking on a narrow mountain trail in Japan and was in such a rush that I didn’t even notice I had bumped into anyone else. The other driver had a dashcam though so they got in touch with the police and I had an urgent email from the rental company, who thank god took care of everything - there was no excess or fine or anything and they reassured me it was all okay and everything was covered. Couldn’t sleep last night from the anxiety and just gave a statement at the cop shop so that the relative insurances could follow up. I’m so grateful for the lovely lady at the rental car place who was extremely calming and reassuring… 😔
So stressful in a foreign country! Glad it turned out OK.
I just went to a doc appointment. We discussed migraines. An hour later I’m on instagram and I get a migraine medication ad. I had not googled anything about migraines or headaches or anything vaguely related. I’ve been working in tech for over 20 years now, and I’m now convinced it is all listening. It’s not just a paranoia any more.
Yeh damn. Reminds me of that online therapy company that was busted a few years back for turning around and selling the details of your session after it ended. Advertisers need to pull there noses out of certain fields I reckon
@Mittens_meow @Seagoon_
Even worse is the fact the surveillance is crowd sourced.Your phone might be as secure as it can be, but the Dr’s phone/smart speaker/doorbell/etc may have picked up on what was said, detected your device/s via bluetooth and attributed it to you.
It’s not just your devices watching and listening, it’s everyone else’s devices as well.
Just applied for new internal role for first time ever, been here over four years. Fingers crossed
🤞🤞🤞
Good luck!
Good luck!
rant about the roomates situation
Looks like things are going to be quite turbulent over the next fortnight. Unfortunately our program coordinator went on leave and she’s been replaced with a new case manager 2 months into the role who works half the days the program coordinator does, while she still has to be a case manager. Naturally, that’s not really how time works, so communication and advocacy has been… Lacking. (For context the program coordinator is a full time role, and the case manager should ideally be a full time role but has always been part time, usually 4 days a week)
They’ve decided that they want to move the new YP in on the 5th (it was meant to be pushed back until the 16th so that things would work out better), but they decided that the poor woman holding the fort is able to co-ordinate a transition from both a case manager and coordination perspective on 3 days a week 🤦♂️
Unfortunately because of several communication breakdowns, the lead tenant that’s still here is realllly pissed off and has decided to move out a month early and is now going to leave on the 3rd which is going to be interesting. They really can’t move anybody in without a lead tenant, but it’s about a 50/50 as to whether they’re going to push it back until the next one moves in, or they’ll try and put support workers here every day.
I know support workers don’t sound that bad, but because this is an independent program, the “support” workers just fall asleep on the couch and play flappy birds on their phones, and fuck around with the damn air con. It’s also really uncomfortable having a stranger sleeping on your couch.
Also I’m off to Mildura from the 6th-11th, so I don’t know whether that works out good or bad for me. I guess it means old mate will get a few days to acclimate to the new environment without me in the way, but also feels like it might be a cluster fuck.
I have mixed feelings about it all. It hasn’t quite hit me yet, but I’ve been through worse, so I guess this isn’t that bad. At the end of the day, I don’t have a choice though. If shit hits the fan I don’t have anywhere to bail to, I’ll be going down with the ship. So I guess there’s some level of comfort in that - I can’t do shit about it, so there’s not much use worrying about it. But logic isn’t how emotions and feelings work ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
^ This + 14 degrees in my room = no sleep
wow that’s sounds like a clusterduck. I hope it remains a vaguely stable place for you despite everyone else’s mess. Please vent all you need here.
Yep. It’s gonna be interesting. I guess with the LT leaving before the new YP moves in screws over my organisation though so that’s kinda funny. If they delay it, they’ll miss out on a couple of weeks of placement subsidy, or if they have to pay workers they’re not going to make very much profit from his placement
Yeah, every organisation I interact with seems to have all the same issues - everyone is stretched too thin. Not that community care was ever not stretched. Hopefully you can sit back and watch it play out.
It’s absolutely ridiculous. Most people don’t last 2 years. Part of that’s no doubt due to the type of work they’re doing, but I’d say burnout is probably the main cause
Welp the call this morning with MC doctor was short and sweet. Just said she’ll add some prescriptions to my portal in a few hours and we’ll have a follow-up in a couple of weeks. And to reach out with any questions or anything.
In other news, our new MacBook Pros arrived in the office today (we bought 6 and one is for me) so I’m currently on a tram to go get it. It’s a gorgeous day outside.
I had to chose some options from the list, then message the doc to submit those choices to the TGA for approval. I’m still waiting on TGA approval.
Was this from the catalogue or from another part of the portal?
The doc setup the catalogue while we were talking, I mentioned some researched strains I was interested in. Some avail, some not. I laters on reviewed the catalogue, chose 3, messaged them to the doc who then applied for tga approval.
Interesting… so what happened with me is that I said I had no idea what I was choosing so she said she’d set up a prescription for me with 3 products. This afternoon they appeared in the Purchase section and I just had to select them and pay for them. Now it’s with the pharmacy to prepare.
I did do a bit of research and picked slightly different things from the catalogue than she prescribed but I’ll go with what she said and see how it goes.
Had a look at my messages, I got assigned a noob doc who still doesn’t have full prescription approval hence this TGA kerfuffle.
I’m getting a latch for the toilet door. She’s figured out how to open it. Lucky she doesn’t have opposable thumbs…
She made a nest!
she is so cheeky 💖 but I still love her
Looks comfy. Glad my cat isn’t smart enough to do that 🤣
And yet if I move my foot ever so slightly in her direction by accident, she’ll fly away as if I’ve tried to assault her lol
Intelligent and cruel are our furry masters. Shall they evermore devise devious plans for our inconvenience and chaos, amen 🙌
Made a kickass lentil soup yesterday for dinner. Really hit the spot.
As much as I love lentils and how good they are for me, my digestive tract gets a bit upset the following day.
Love me some Lentils. Really getting into the beans and lentils lately! Price of meat certainly helps. I had a crack at a coconut chickpea curry. Pride forced me to finish the plate, but the Mrs was diplomatic in her “Yeahhhhhh look I appreciate the effort and I’m sure you’ll get it right next time! but… i couldn’t finish it”
Since starting to shop at my local asian grocer, my curry game has lifted. The thai and malaysian curry bases are heavens above anything from Colesworth.
Beans and coconut rice are good too.
the asian grocers out my way are really limited. There is like 5 indian ones, but thats it. I’m desperate for a good Korean one, super stoked to try tteokbokki!
If you’re in the city have a dip into one there (time permitted of course). There’s a few on Elizabeth St. There’s one that’s not bad in Melb Central (next to the coles).
I know they’ve got heaps of Chinese, Japanese and Korean stuff. Maybe not so much Thai and Malay and such.
That looks really good. I’d do things a little bit differently though. I wouldn’t put the sugar or the salt in. I’d stir the spices in after the capsicum with the garlic and some ginger. Season at the end.
Funnily enough, I only put sugar and salt at the end after I’ve checked the flavour. This one didn’t need the sugar at all, but some might like it a bit sweeter.
Soaking and throwing away the soak water can help draw out some of the farty compounds. However an increase in gas from legumes is normal to a degree, it’s your microbiome digesting all the good stuff, and the gut will adjust if you eat legumes regularly. Also, if using canned, throw away the water and give a very good rinse. Same principle, the water contains lots of the fatty stuff.
There’s a herb called angelica - yep the same stuff that gets candied into stringy green strips - but the leaves used fresh is GREAT for reducing the fart component of lentils/beans/peas/asparagus. If you have a garden, then might be worth growing some. Add a frond to the beans as they cook and hoist it out before serving cos quite stringy. Epazote does the same thing but might be easier to find on iherb or similar. I wouldn’t cook legumes from scratch without epazote now.
Late reply, but Casa Iberica has dried epazote in stock quite regularly.
Asafoetida powder is used to a similar effect in Indian cuisine. I’ve also heard dried kelp (eg Japanese kombu) has a similar effect.
Are you 24hr soaking and rinsing the lentils? That’s the only tip I have for digestive comfort in the lentil category.
Red lentils and Mae Ploy Yellow curry paste are my jam.
Rinsing, yes but not soaking. I’ll give that a shot actually. I tend to get similar effects from canned lentils, so not sure if it will help, but why not.
Mae Ploy is literally the brand I had in mind. Got the red and yellow curries in the fridge. The red one has a bit of kick to it though. I use that one sparsely.
I think the yellow is vegetarian, no shrimp paste. Or at least that’s what it used to be. I haven’t had many strict vegetarians over to dinner lately.
Remember how everyone was having really weird dreams if not nightmares yesterday? Well last night was my turn. Urrrgh.
I felt like I had some weird dreams last night or the night before during one of my naps. I’m not quite sure as my memory of it wasn’t as vivid as other times.
Movie review. Anatomy of a Fall. A very subtle and powerful story of sexism ( I’m sure the town wouldn’t have pursued her if she was “nice” ) and male ego ( husband just couldn’t bear her success nor the social belief that being a carer has no value. ) Reminded me of witch trials.
Slow movie, very much worth it.
4.5 hobbits
Woke up feeling like i’d just been physically threatened. Wtf
There must be something in the air. You’re number 5, or maybe number 6 in the last 2 days!
We’re under psychic attack!
… pakige …
I fucking hate recruiters. Guy rings me Friday 4pm. I call him back, he’s on a call.
I leave a message.
I call back this morning. “he’s in a meeting”. Sure sure buddy. An almost 5 hour meeting for a recruiter.
Get absolutely fucked.
/Rant
“he’s in a meeting”
Nup, him and his dickhead recruiter mates are all having a circle jerk over a mirror in the boardroom. Sometimes they let the realestate agents from next door join in. Its the only way either of 'em ever get any love.
You made me laugh out loud, and for that I’m grateful ❤️
It could be reasonable that they are sometimes on calls, eg interviews reference checks, client calls etc, but I reckon not returning your call twice is probably a sign. The right thing will come along.
You’re right. I just let myself get upset. I went to the gym after writing that message and felt much better afterwards.
I swear the happy chemicals from the gym make it worthwhile. Even without the physical results.
It’s a Sunday kind of Monday …
I thought it was Tuesday
I don’t know whether you want to edit it, but you can edit titles on Lemmy.
oh no!!
Fixed.
I had a June kind of May moment earlier.
Roadworks update, I decided to call the council because they’re doing even more roadworks now. They’ve closed off all the streets around me as well and we still haven’t received anything in our letterbox or anything like that. I decided to call the council to see what’s happening and how long the works are going for. Apparently it’s a “minor” drainage upgrade and they’re doing more next month.
She said they were meant to have sent us a letter about the works and also seemed confused I had no clue what was happening
