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DxK@lemmy.world to The Onion@midwest.socialEnglish · 1 year ago

JD Vance Has Panic Attack After Learning Jesus Was Childless

theshovel.com.au

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JD Vance Has Panic Attack After Learning Jesus Was Childless

theshovel.com.au

DxK@lemmy.world to The Onion@midwest.socialEnglish · 1 year ago
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JD Vance Has Panic Attack After Learning Jesus Was Childless — The Shovel
theshovel.com.au
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Vice Presidential candidate JD Vance was being provided urgent medical care today after he found out that the man used to justify his party’s policy positions was a single, childless, unemployed hippie with two dads.
  • disguy_ovahea@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    According to a story from The Christian Science Monitor, authors of the book, “The Lost Gospel,” say they have uncovered a manuscript that details the marriage between Jesus and Mary Magdalene that produce two sons, Manasseh and Ephraim.

    https://www.csmonitor.com/The-Culture/2014/1110/1-400-year-old-manuscript-points-to-Jesus-wife-and-kids-authors-say

    • corsicanguppy@lemmy.ca
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      1 year ago

      Manasseh and Ephraim.

      I read his son’s names translated as Jacob and James, named after their father and after their dead uncle, but also a first-born daughter Tamarah.

      Eventually his family migrated slowly to settle in northern Spain. You want some sang-real, go there, Indy.

      • WhiskyTangoFoxtrot@lemmy.world
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        1 year ago

        deleted by creator

      • disguy_ovahea@lemmy.world
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        1 year ago

        You’re right. That’s how it reads. I read the names in another article years ago, but I’m not sure where.

        Edit: Not that it matters, but I found it. It’s referencing the same article, so it was probably editor or web scraping bot error.

    • Aatube@kbin.melroy.org
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      1 year ago

      Who’s his mom, according to that text?

      • disguy_ovahea@lemmy.world
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        1 year ago

        Jesus’s mother Mary is not Mary Magdalene. They were two different people. Neither Mary (Maryam, Mariam, Myriam) had a traditional last name. Mary Magdalene, meaning Mary from Magdala, was referred to as a repentant sinner that Jesus defended and befriended in the New Testament.

        https://www.catholic.com/magazine/online-edition/who-is-mary-magdalene

        • DogPeePoo@lemm.ee
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          1 year ago

          Were Jesus and Mags banging?

          • disguy_ovahea@lemmy.world
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            1 year ago

            According to the Lost Gospel, yes. There’s also plenty of evidence in the New Testament that Mary was deeply committed to Jesus. She famously stood with the Virgin Mary and witnessed Jesus’s crucifixion and burial, and then later wept at his tomb.

            • DogPeePoo@lemm.ee
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              1 year ago

              You offer good insight, also I like your username

              • disguy_ovahea@lemmy.world
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                1 year ago

                Thanks. I’m a dog person too, so right back at ya.

        • Aatube@kbin.melroy.org
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          1 year ago

          Very interesting, even though the theory has been dismissed. Thanks!

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