I work in a public school district and i visit about a dozen different schools. Bosses are making us share our calendars, thinking they’ll be able to track us and catch us doing something wrong. I’m planning to add “started my period” every couple of weeks. Are there other good outlook tricks to fuck with them?
Resign, it will be better for both
Add your driving to/from schools to the calendar, turn by turn
- 9:21 - Leave parking lot, turn to Capital Blvd and drive 420 ft
- 9:22 - Turn right towards Trawick Rd and drive 2.5 miles
- 9:27 - Turn left, enter parking lot
“pulled over to put following comments in calendar”
Make sure to turn on “at time of event” reminders for every single one, then turn your own phone/pc to DND mode so bitch boss’s only way to make them shut up is unshare the calendar
I didn’t know your could do that! Perfect!
Add a bunch of just normal things and then right in the middle:
10:45 - Rectal exam
1300 rectal exam
1700 rectal exam
2245 rectal exam
self- rectal exam
Just like checking your breasts for lumps, the fight against colon cancer begins at home.
No I prefer to start at work
Rectum? Damn near killed 'em!
If it ain’t on the calendar it ain’t happening
Just be overly nice…laced with some sarcasme. Being nice will get them infuriated because they want to be the asshole.
I’ll try, but i didn’t think i can do it. Maybe I’ll practice throwing out, “Bless your heart…”
Comes with the years. My virtue is patience and malicious complience.
- “What a lovely meeting”
- “What a lovely conversation”
- “What a lovely idea”
- “What a lovely thing to say”
- “Terrific”
- “It’s always so nice to see you”
- Spam personal fake notes everywhere. “Joey’s little league game”, “Call dentist” and make completely useless ones like “remember the thing” for maximum annoyance.
- Add obscure religious holidays and random countries’ national festivities. “Bhutan Losar day. Get decorations.”
- Put in washed up celebrities’ birthdays “David Hasselhoff’s b-day”.
- Include random bad album release anniversaries. “18 year release anniversary of Kid Rock - Live Trucker”.
- Register inaccurate astrological milestones with random advice. “Leo ascending in Pluto. Good day for new beginnings”.
- Every once in a while add events that are just random characters such as “HERDBhbcdbcnn nnnnnnnn” which you can later claim were added accidentally from your pocket.
- Make sure some of the events are written IN ALL CAPS
- Be lavish with your use of exclamation marks!!!1!!111
- Occasionally add reviews of your day scheduled for a few hours later as if using the calendar as a diary, including details about health conditions and sex life. “Rough day today… had a lot of work and <partner> didn’t want to get frisky because of the hemmorhoids”
- Write down random math calculations here and there that suggest you are confusing the calendar with an excel spreadsheet “=27.5/3”
- Include the most bland and sad motivational quotes every couple of days with several typos as if written ina rush: “YO cndo it!!!” “YOU WILL ALEAYS BE BEeeTIFUL, gril. Ownit!!!”
- Add fake Google search queries as if confusing the calendar with your search bar “cheap viernamese restaurant charlottesville” “how dolphins swim so fast ND jump”
Extra bonus points if you can invite him to the “events” and get the calendar to send him push notifications for occasional 5:30 am “wake up early for the thing”. If he accuses you of bad faith for inviting him, tell him it’s the default and you keep forgetting to remove him.
Not only will this annoy him, it will render the system impossible to supervise and you can always claim you ALWAYS organize your personals through your calendar and this “is just how i organize”.
Good luck and give em hell.
Edit: Elaborated and more ideas
Edit 2: Few more ideas.
Don’t forget to use tasks too. Spams your bosses task list with random stuff and reminders all the time.
I love these! Thank you! When we take a personal day we now have to invite her to it in our calendar. I think I’ll be taking some extremely personal days.
Beautiful! Godspeed, brave soul.
You are petty and disagreeable to overreaching management, I love you.
Best part is, public school teachers are basically unfireable in most parts of the developed western world for anything short of Child endangerment, so they probably can get away with all of this and more. :D
Ily2
Yeah. Worst I’ll get is probably an email.
This was a fantastic read. OP I hope you do this (and then tell us about it or post screenshots)
Thank you. I consider myself a decent managerial saboteur / supervisional terrorist
Some people might take this further like spamming tech support/ IT with nonsensical tickets that somehow end up being something brought up to management which would force them to determine some policy (which they hate doing)
Others might find it amusing to open debates about how certain harmless terminology used in calendar events may cause offense to “people we should be looking after” due to “ideological considerations” “possibly triggering” even if no relevant members of any group are in the team. Some people may bring this up in HR.
The key concepts to destroy any organizational effort are “techincally allowed”, “plausible deniability” and “could get someone in a lot of trouble”.
The only one here so far not likely to immediately get you in trouble is the one about setting calendar reminders. By default, everyone with access to the event gets the alert with the event reminder.
Also, just being stupidly stringent with your time logging. 10:03-10:17 Gas, 8.9gal, $XX.XX to start pushing for (increased) mileage compensation.
Log every minute you go over time. It’s a wonderful way to make managers twitchy.
Also, there are certain things you could reasonably expect them to want logged with this that legally they are not allowed to ask for. Not “Took a big fat steamer”, what are you, 12? But “Bathroom” 1:10-1:15, and dare them to challenge it on the record. If they do, take it up the chain “I felt pressured to include this information in my time logs and now I’m being judged for it”. That should raise alarm bells with anyone up above them.
Most of all, chill out. Just keep your shit in order and keep moving on. No reason to jeapordize your employment for pettiness.
Yeah. I really need to learn how to let things go and stop being petty, but I just can’t stand her stupid lying face! “Share your calendar so we can find you if there’s an emergency.” Well, you could call me or you could use the multi million dollar emergency alert system that i sign into at every building.
I really need to learn how to let things go and stop being petty
I mean… no, you don’t. As long as you can manage possible repercussions… I say be petty. As petty as you can be while consequence free. Go nuts with it and enjoy it. Share key events with trusted loved ones and they may offer useful strategic suggestions.
Also, managers’ entire jobs consist in lying, manipulating, coercing, dehumanizing, snitching, and gathering info/planning around the former. A good manager is a usually a bad human being (either happily or though fear/incentives), and a good human being is usually a bad manager.
Source: I’m a manager and I deliberately try to be as bad as possible at my job due to ethical convictions. :)
I don’t really follow your reasoning unless your bosses have already shown they’re malicious people. At work, my work calendar is shared with the entire company to see. I like it as it lets people easily schedule meetings with me, know at which of the two locations (or at home) I am. I have a personal calendar which I don’t link to my work calendar at all. I do think that accountability is an important part of healthy work relationships with managers because (with good managers) it comes with autonomy. Why do you think your bosses will use it maliciously?
you sweet summer child. (or management plant)
Does your boss fish? If not, this might look disturbing to him.
Five Guys Hooker tournament 2-4. Entry: $75. Min length: 8". Biting = Big OFishing tournament sponsored by Five Guys from 2-4pm. Entry fee is $75. Any fish under 8" don’t count towards total weight. “Big O” lure is expected to perform well.
Have you ever thought of tracking your bowel movements?
Don’t forget to note consistency and whether or not there’s corn.
Be professional, use the Bristol Stool Chart.
I actually have that on the wall in a couple of my schools. I could take a pic and note my ‘score’.
A picture is good but a video really captures the consistency.
Just have a work calendar for your working hours, don’t put anything personal on it.
Most calendar systems let you maintain multiple calendars, and share them independently, but you still get to see them all at once on your interface.
I only use outlook for meeting invites. For now I’m just making up a fake weekly schedule and copying it to each week.
Your planned menu: all meals.
Including snacks. Notate all deviations, including free samples and “one grape from bunch”.
Period every couple of weeks… lmao.
For every hour put “8am block” “9am block” etc and it will completely fill their calendar.
You could use a paper planner and refuse to use the calendar too.
I use a separate calendar for real stuff. Just making up stuff to put in this one and copying it each week.
I like this. Just one little further tweak: every hour block should be a time zone conversion to a completely useless time.
For example the hour long block at 8:00am would be:
0:00-0:59 Ugandan timeFor even more bonus points, account for Uganda not observing DST.
I love this!! Everything in my calendar is now going to occur in a different time zone !
This is great. And, i don’t know if you can color code events in Outlook, but if you can… color code anarchy.
Throw in a abortion appointment in there from time to time, and maybe a STD full check up. Maybe a " retry to get gun license." And maybe once or twice a month put The unholy orgy on a weekend.
Many people have quit and sent letters to the school board on their way out. I’ll include “Dinner with ___ (rotating list of people who have asked the board to fire her).”
Genius!
“That Eyes Wide Shut party.”
“Anal cleanse”
“Oral Cleanse”
“Facial with boyfriend”
“Facial with trainer”
“Bestie massage”
“FBI interview”
“EOD license review”
“Meet with handler”
“DOL debrief of investigation”
“Oral argument with Boyfriend”
“DEEP tissue massage with other boyfriend”
“Knitting”
“” “Knitting” "
“Bad Dragon review due”
“Bible Study”
“Struggle Snuggle”
“Train(stretch before, and during)”
“BBC show party”
“Prayer with elderly”
“That thing with horses”
“Doctor visit after horse thing”
“Followup about the prolapse”
“Oncology appt”
“shave head?”
“Wig shopping?”
“Meet with lawyer about will”
“Tell BF”
“Tell sir”
“Talk with pastor/confession?”
“Record video for (insert kid name here)”
You can’t just write BD review. You have to tell us which toy you got and how much you enjoyed it?
