I’m about to start my 12 week paternity leave next week thanks to a state program and almost everyone that I’ve told has had their jaws on the floor that I would even want to do that.
Today I witnessed a group of coworkers almost bragging how little time they took after their kids were born. I’ve heard stuff like “Most men are hard working and want to support their families so they don’t take leave”.
To me it was a no brainer, I’m getting ~85% of my normal pay and I get to take care of my wife, our son and our newborn for 3 whole months. and for someone who hasn’t taken a day breathe in the past 3 years I think I deserve it.
I’m in the US so I know it’s a “strange” concept, but people have seemed genuinely upset, people it doesn’t affect at all. Again, it’s a state program available to almost anyone who’s worked in the past 2 years, I’ve talked to soon to be dads who scoffed at the idea and were happy to use a week of pto and that’s it.
I feel like I’m missing something.
Absolutely take paternity. Why wouldn’t you?
12 weeks paternity leave at 85% salary? Damn, that’s sweet, even by many EU standards.
I wouldn’t think twice about taking it.
My Colorado Comrades in corporate environments take the time. I’ve seen a number of guys go out on Paternity since we enacted paid paternity leave in our state. It’s legally protected, we fought and voted for it. If your boss doesn’t like it they can eat shit and die because it’s your right. Your family is more important than some corporate nonsense.
Don’t listen to those morons. Paternity leave is a legit great way to stay with your wife and children when they need it the most.
Yea F those tools that judge you on wanting to be there for your wife and kid.
For some providing a reliable income is their way of supporting, but man is it great to actually provide the time to be there in person
Your coworkers desperately need class consciousness, working until your bones give out is not “supporting your family” its being a wage slave.
I worked during my mom’s last months of life while taking care of her because the company allowed me to fully work from home, no question asked if I was available ok, if I wasn’t ok too. And I brag about that. Otherwise I would have taken a sick leave to take care of my mom (which my country allows), but working gave me a good, I don’t know how to say, sometimes when I had work and my mom didn’t need me I didn’t think about the situation and that was nice.
People should make use of their rights, although in my case I found a compromise that, in my opinion, benefited me; but this company gained my loyalty for the time being.
Most democratic countries have a full 12 months leave or more for whichever parent ( or shared between both.) Maybe this lack of early bonding and co-regulation between family members explains US as it is today.
I got it. I think it was 3 weeks. Unfortunately it was unpaid. I had to take on extra work before and after to make up for the loss in income. It was all we were allowed.
I would do it again. Those 3 weeks at home are irreplaceable. Should it be paid? Should it be longer? Abso-fucking-lutely. But paternity leave? Take it if you can get it.
Both parents should be entitled to take 12 months leave as a minimum, and their employer should be required to pay their salary and protect their position during that time.
I believe in leave for having a child but how do you picture this working unless it is government funded? Lad and lass get out of college at 22. Enter their first job. Are there for 6 months to a year, and then take a year off, go back to work for 6-12 months, off for a year. Now they are 25-26 years old, 2 kids and have at most 2 years of experience in their field. Have only worked for the company for most 2 years and had 2 years off. In which then many would leave that job as it no longer fits around their schedules assuming the business didn’t do layoffs and such.
I know a lot of people think they’ll wait till their older to have kids but a lot of that is about time and financial security. If I knew my job was secure when I was coming out of college I would have married my then fiancee and would have reproduced 2-3 times at that age. Putting 60,000 young humans in a small area made for a lot of active fit horny people. I know a lot of Universities are smaller, but either way, I can’t see any small businesses surviving it. They’d all have to choose to hire 35+ year old workers to lower their odds of paying out the leave. (Unless like mentioned previously it’s all covered by the state)
I mean, I’m no economist so I cant exactly speak on the how, but the government should be involved in the funding for this, passing the financial burden onto parents would just cause either those couples to not have kids, or not give those new born kids the adequate attention they need leading to further problems in their life.
Oh I agree it would help with birth rates. And mental health of the population. But healthy isn’t what we do around here. I watched a woman with 1 arm being told off last night at work that she wasn’t likely to be able to keep her performance numbers up and should consider quitting instead of trying to ask her if she would find a better fit somewhere else that would work better for her situation. They are hiring like crazy so just about every position is open. The people watch you go through a metal detector on the way in and tell you to take your keys out and try again. You can do that all day with 1 arm. (Strange that we have that, but huge company and many expensive parts I assume they are worried people might be walking out with. Or maybe it’s for cameras coming in… Idk. Either way, they are hiring for positions that don’t require you to belittle someone but rather find a better use, it’s not like they could have gotten through interviews and paperwork without disclosing they had a disability. (Not to mention companies get tax write offs for having employees with disabilities last I checked)
-sorry for the rant, new contract one week down and learning what kind of company it is
In a lot of developed countries the employer can claim back money from the government when a employee takes maternity leave or sick leave.
That way companies don’t really have a reason to discriminate based on if you might get pregnant etc.
I heard that early childhood (first weeks, months, maybe years) are vital for development of emotional intelligence. Neglect could lead to life-long struggles. So I’m happy to hear you favor the idea to stay and care. Good for you, you both, and all of us.
I was interviewing with my current company while my wife was pregnant and I didn’t disclose it to them bc I didn’t want it to impact my hireability. My wife was due about a month into my tenure after I got hired. I told my boss after I was hired, and only took maybe a week off. The only reason I took such a short amount of time was I didn’t want my boss to think poorly of me so soon into the job and make a good 1st impression. I was sleep deprived the whole time and my performance was definitely impacted.
When my 2nd was born, you best believe I took the full 12 weeks, and every day was worth it. That bonding time is absolutely irreplaceable, and I wish I had it the first go 'round. You only get 1 chance at it. Fuck your coworkers, they’re probably shitty parents.
Honestly, fuck those coworkers. What I will tell you is this: They’re only newborns for so long, and after that they’re only babies for so long. Those are some of the most precious moments in life. Giving that up to wage slave for a company that at the end of the day doesn’t give a shit about you? When given the opportunity to experience something that will probably only happen once or twice in your lifetime? You should 100 percent go for it. The other option is looking back on how you missed out on something you will never get back. I missed out on one kids baby phase pulling 60 hour weeks. Was lucky enough to be around for my second and was able to take paternity leave. Best decision I was given, and hate myself for missing out on my first kid.
You are absolutely right! 85% is nice money and especially in the first months it’s super important to spend time with your new born and to support the mother.
And for all those fuckers who think that you “aren’t working” in this time… Well, get a child and take care of it. It’s way harder than you think. You will see, it’s gonna be a hard but also rewarding time. My second daughter is now 3 months… And boy, to see everything that is happening within 3 months. It’s unbelievable and makes me so happy.
You’re on the right path.
Yeah probably as always only a matter of perspective. Don’t listen to other men, just do what feels right for yourself.
I took a solid 9 months paternity leave with my son, and I think we just built the best base for a father son relationship I could ever imagine or hope to have. I know they don’t seem like it as a baby, but you are building your foundation already.
This was 3 years ago and I still feel the outcome of it every day.
Go for it , be yourself, don’t listen to others.
You are surrounded with workaholic, misogynists. My company gives full pay for 12 weeks for mothers and fathers. Several of my coworkers, mostly men, have used their leave in full (usually 9 weeks together and the other 3 broken up). Nobody ever looks down on people for taking leave.
Maybe they would take all of it if it was for full pay. Ya’ll motherfuckers need a union.
