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Usually the host pays. If it’s at a sit-down restaurant with a menu (where different food have different prices and people can order sides ans dessertand drinks and stuff) everyone pays for themselves… but surely you’re not having a kids birthday party at a sit-down restaurant? It’s a place that specialises in servicing children and hosting child parties, where you can order a buffet for everyone/the kids, right?

But as long as you communicate expectations clearly on the invite you can do as you like. For example: “There will be buffet style food served for the kids to eat. Accompanying adults can buy food at a café next to the playground.” Or “Entry to the jump yard is X:- per child. Since each family pays for themselves we don’t expect birthday gifts” (make sure your child knows this).

Parties can be made pretty cheap, so I would prefer a type of party that fits your budget rather than create an expensive party where some kids might not affort to join the celebrations. It’s not the location or fancy foods or special activities/entertainment, it’s the people and (for many kids) the theme, that makes it special.

Aside from the advice asked and answered in this thread, I’d encourage you to make phone calls when the information is time sensitive, such as being short on time and needing to communicate that overtime will happen and know if the assignment is still approved.

This way you’ll get a response immediately and wont have to sit around for confirmation or start tasks you wont have time to finish or wait for unreliable tech to work to get communication through.

I fully relate to being uncomfortable when others use my name. I dont hate it anymore, but people using it when talking to me weirds me out. I know who I am so you don’t have to remind me, and you know who I am because you’re currently talking to me!

It just feels like constantly being poked with something sharp when someone overuses my name, or I get on edge like I expect them to try pickpocket me at any moment, or I get tense and feel my fuse shortening like they’re being condescending and sort of explaining my own name to me?

I don’t know, it’s just really grinding my gears. Dont know if it’s adhd though, or having overactive walls and defenses, or something else.

I bought myself a new name on impulse.

I had been joking about considering taking that name on and off for years, but didn’t expect the name change approval papers to show up a couple of weeks after a bender.

Turns out joking about stuff for a long time can just rewire your brain, and I’m actually really happy with my new name.

I haven’t read the book, but I think there is a big difference between a flawed character and a flawed message.

Like: Is it just that the flawed character is saying that other girls are shallow and leeches onto popular boys without having anything to offer, or is the book/story/author agreeing and implying it with how the other female characters act when not observed through that character or by never having that flawed presumption challenged?

A character having internalised misogyny and mood swings can be them clearly being torn between their fear of abandonment and their love or attraction because they are a flawed character written very well, or it can be lazy writing with no clear character understanding or reason for their erratic changes, depending on how its done.

Some of my favourite pieces of media is with characters I would absolutely hate in real life, or who are deeply flawed but understandable and/or not rewarded for it.

Attraction is not love, not enough for a relationship.

She can tell that you don’t care about her enough, but since youre in a relationship you say that you do… so she must be really confused and suffering because she either denies the validity of your relationship or denies what she knows is true about your lack of care for her. Should she trust you or her own senses, you know…

Surely you can see how mean it is to put someone through that? To trap her in a relationship where you don’t want to be her actual partner and love all of her?

I would like to know how much time you actually spend with your girlfriend, because from what I see here… yeah. You’re not being a good partner.

She tells you she want to be more of a priority and get more time and attention from you, and your solution is to tell her she can get time with you when your actual priority (Max) is busy. That’s exactly the issue - you choose Max over her when there is a choice, and only choose her when there are no “better” opinions because Max is busy.

Not to mention choosing TV over your girlfriend.

Based on this, you need to think about whether you actually have time and space in your life for your girlfriend and if you are willing to prioritise being a good partner. Maybe you are happy with your life as it is and don’t actually want to change it to incorporate a romantic partner. That’s absolutely fine, but be honest about it and don’t try to have your cake and eat it too. Relationship takes time and work, no one can keep their life and routines as is and add a partner without making changes to incorporate the relationship. Do you like her enough to choose her and be her partner, not as a label but as a way of life?

Asking ones parter to be part of their life and be more of a priority is not “drama”, saying that sounds really dismissive and that is quite often used to keep women quiet and shamed, so be mindful of how you perceive your own girlfriend. No one is immune to internalising sexism regardless of gender.

Of course there is the possibility that you already call her an hour every day and she’s being unreasonable in you wanting ten min to talk to your friend (with the four hour chat being the only time you talked longer than that), if so disregard the above.

I’m happy to hear that you have a therapist.

It sounds strange that the therapist didn’t suggest for the parent to leave before asking about the relationship. Very proud of you for asking your mum to leave when the topic came up!

If you manage to speak to them alone, you could tell them that you are having issues with boundaries with your parents and you need their help to make sure your therapy can be made safe and with kept confidentiality so you can speak freely. Then you can figure out together how that can be implemented - maybe by having every other session be private, ot by having the therapist ask your mother to leave for like 30 min every session.

You need privacy to figure out who you are and where to find your own strength and courage without your family.

Good luck!

Learn an instrument, or join a choir, or learn some craft like knitting or crocheting (find a craft circle/club for the social aspect and to have someone to learn from).

Something practical and physical. You’ll still be learning and using your brain, but very different pathways from academia.

The fittest, obviously.

(As in “the most fitting” fyi)

Such an impressive wing span! I somehow still never expect it but these owls keep catching me off guard. Superb indeed!

I’m feeling 3:1 today, like a sleepy grumpy gramps.

You replied to only one of my points, and that’s not even what I said…

They train new models on base models, and I’m talking about how they scraped the internet without permission or how websites sold their users data without compensation and how no one was ever given any opportunity to opt out of sharing your work and your words to train these base models on.

Without that grand scale theft we would have no base models anywhere near what we have now.

I’m not opposed to willingly sharing, I’m opposed to profiting from stealing.

I noticed how quickly my own skills started deteriorating when trying to work with it. I’m trying to build my skills, not outsource them.

I also don’t love the environmental impact, nor the immorality of how they got/get their training sets for the base models.

If my work tried to force me to use it, I would be looking to change employer. Or lie and say I use it. But our AI use is heavily regulated and generally disencouraged, so luckily no issues there.

Of course.

My reasons for not using AI are the same as they were four months ago and will be the same in four months, regardless of what the models can or can’t do.

Ask again in four years.

Some cats are like this. I’d like to add a speech bubble to the last frame: “You may be leaking but I still trust you fully, I know you’re safe and reliable. You always have my back, see?”

Probably whoever is in gravest danger or, if the danger is percieved as equal, who physically closest to them at the time.

If one of you are able to save themselves they would save the other. If neither could save themselves they wouldn’t run past one of you to look for the other but get the first one they see out first.

I don’t think trying to figure out favourites like this is worth thinking about, past the sbive point. If you dwell on thoughts like this beyond a slight curiosity it might just be your mind trying to come up with different ways to hurt you and make you suffer emotionally. Don’t let it.

Inviting people regularly over worked pretty well for me, like hosting a weekly game night. I don’t have the energy to do so while working unfortunately, so my place is also a complete mess right now. Calling someone to have a body double while cleaning or doing other tasks also helps. Hope you figure something out!

For school I tried to always work with a classmate. Even when we weren’t assigned one I asked if it would be okay to do the assignment as a pair.

I know a lot of people hate group assignments, but it worked well for me because I would get the work started, come up with the ideas and create the collaborative spaces. The other person would keep me on track so I didn’t try to change the assignment topic halfway through, and would do those pesky last percent/clean up our workshop notes and make sure the assignment got handed in on time after I ran out of steam and interest.

Getting diagnosed helped me get through my studies like nothing else - figuring out what I needed and being able to ask for it with a diagnosis to back me up (stuff like taking a break to run the stairs and being allowed headphones with music during tests made it so much easier to focus). Good luck figuring out your needs and getting the accommodation you deserve!