Best case scenario, you just lug it around everywhere. Worst case scenario, it hits someone else.
Hurt people hurt people.
turtle turtle
Oh yeah they do. Have you heard:
Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo.
These kinds of phrasings unhelpfully oversimplify real issues that some people struggle with.
I don’t really think that’s the point. It suggests that a lot of trauma in someone’s life can result in difficulty having normal relationships and interactions with people. That’s a perfectly valid position even if simply stated. There’s no need to enumerate the list of causes in casual conversation.
It also helps nothing to say a cliche phrasing that’s been said for a heck of a long time. It’s so simple and repetitious at this point that in a way it devalues the seriousness of the issue.
There are certainly enough people who grew up with immense privilege who have no problem hurting other people. Are they traumatized? I mean, we can’t rule out the possibility.
On the other hand, have they been cushioned from the painful consequences their own actions have on others? Absolutely.
I wonder if it is more used by people that don’t want to accept suffering as a base for all humans cause the only people that repeat that phrase to me are ones that don’t want to make allowances for hurt people to exist in their world.
Not really sure but it feels like this suggests you always have a choice. You really dont. Depending on the shit you‘ve been through, things will be shit forever and you just have to deal with it. Then again, it light just try to spark discussion.
To those who have lasting damage from their parent‘s mistakes: I feel you. You don’t need their love or their approval for anything.
Yep. Exactly this. That stuff is engrained in the deepest and oldest parts of your personality, it somehow is you.
If it were as easy to handle and to take off as a handcuff therapists and psychologists would be jobless.
You can also read about retraumatization. Its statistically likely for a sufficiently traumatized person to walk into situations (both by their own and other‘s specific configuration) that deepen the trauma. Then there are intense risc factors like being part of one or many minorities. At some points, life becomes an obstacle course just to keep that from happening over and over because the outcome of that vicious cycle is brutal.
To the second part: yes, that and capitalism. It would be infinitely easier for a person to just heal if there wasnt constant pressure from all sides to produce meaningless „work“ for some oligarch or another but thats beyond the scope here i guess. If interested, visit !anticorporate@lemmy.giftedmc.com .
I don’t see it like that. The ball is chained to the leg. What choice do you feel it suggests?
Well, you have a choice in how you deal with it. You could just let it chain you down, or you could develop strategies to deal with it.
That doesn’t mean it’d be easy, or that you can remove it entirely… but it’s better than ignoring it and hoping it goes away.
They literally wrote you have to deal with it. They aren’t talking about ignoring. They’re talking about ability to let it go as if it never affected you. Some people don’t have that choice. They become invasive thoughts and things that ruin random days or events by flooding us with horrible memories or triggers.
As an Indigenous Canadian … most people in my family have a black ball so big that we put wheels on it and take it for a ride.
Also Canadian but white: Sorry man, it never should have come to this in the first place. I hope yours isn’t so bad.
Other than getting a lobotomy, how am I supposed to just… Not continue to have memories of shit that happened to me in the past? 🤨
It’s normal to remember horrible shit and very hard to not let it affect you. Finding a way to move past it and not let it define you can seem insurmountable but torturing yourself for what someone else did to you perpetuates the cycle of damage. Don’t allow things to continue to hurt you, especially when they are no longer around. I hope this doesn’t come across as preachy. I struggle with it too but I’m learning that the past can’t be changed. Life moves on with or without you. It’s in our best interest to find a way forward through the mess…
They found that after the 9/11 attacks suppression of memories is a valid coping path.
Works for me with some childhood trauma. Surfaced in my teens. Buried it again with no therapy because “men don’t have feelings”.
Its like a bad mostly healed scab. I know its there. I just don’t pick at it. Nearly completely forgot about it until your comment.
And there it is again
The giant spider attack on your village
🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🏘️🔥
So I checked and you seem like a real person… Haven’t had my coffee yet. No idea what your comment means.
I’m distracting you from your horrible past with a humourous and absurd fantasy scenario involving giant spiders
