McDonald’s is pretty good at that.
Basically when the patty has been reduced the the thickness of a legal pad, you’ve long since lost the plot.
Shredded lettuce.
I’m fine with leaf lettuce, but that shit just makes an unholy fucking mess.
raw onion
What? How?
Being made in Europe pretty much destroyed the one I tried there
Being so large you can’t bite into it. Over cooked burger meat. Raw onions. Price.
Gentrification
Too many toppings max should be 4 including lettuce and tomato
Too tall, my mouth can only open so wide and a burger I must struggle to consume is worse than a easier, albeit shittier burger.
Soggy buns due to either failed to toast the inner side or having it sitting on the pass/heater for too long. Same applies to the meat side and the salad side achieving temperature equilibrium.
Too much height. If I have to disassemble the burger to put it in my mouth, it is not a burger anymore. It is just a mess then. Instead of two or three (or more!) patties stacked, try a bigger bun and an equally bigger patty. Or even a thinner bun to get the patty to bun ratio to what a triple patty burger would offer.
Not being fully cooked.
Somewhat controversially, an egg.
Like, a good, over medium egg? Okay I can do that. I hate a super runny, the yolk blasts you in the face like an unapologetic lover and leaves you to clean yourself up, egg in my burger.
In fact, anything that’s made with your Instagram reel in mind. I don’t want greasy buns, dripping yolks, and sauces pouring out. If you made a good, juicy burger you wouldn’t need all that.
I have never had a burger with a fried egg that really added anything to the equation. Anything the egg can do, the meat does better. It’s just filler with very little flavor or texture.
And that one time the chef made an amazing egg, it overpowered the burger and the entire equation flipped. Now there was no reason to include the hamburger patty.
Oh man, do we have different tastes in burgers. Give me that dribbling barbecue, that A1 sauce, that honey mustard, that sunny side up egg, that rare and juicy burger, them pickles.
I want a messy burger, one I gotta wash my hands off after.
I love an egg on a burger, but I philosophically agree with your line of thinking.
Foot fungi.
Number 15, Burger King foot lettuce
spoiled burger? ruined burger.
Soggy bun.
Being too tall; I shouldn’t have to unhinge my jaw to eat a burger.
After a certain height you’re supposed to eat them with a knife and fork.
Absolutely not. They’re burgers, the whole point is to eat them with your hands.
Same with burritos. Those stupidly large ones they drench in a sauce are no longer a burrito.
adjusts monocle Ok, peasant.
Sorry, the Earl of Sandwich is with us on this one.
Sorry, new answer: “Eating it with a knife and fork.”
5"9
