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Joined 1 month ago
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Cake day: March 29th, 2025

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  • I mean, make your own club. It’s as simple as finding a space to do it, inviting your friends, and putting up some posters or whatever.

    But finding a space could be difficult. Many people find dancing, or especially learning to dance, in public spaces like parks to be uncomfortable. So you’ll need somewhere private, out of the public eye. You might be able to find space in a local school, library, community center, or church - but these places rarely seem to have a good vibe. Usually they have bad lighting, modernist architecture, lackluster sound systems (if they have any at all), and/or an odor that isn’t bad so much as it is vaguely off-putting. And just generally, they aren’t the sort of places where a vibrant young person wants to go to have a good time. So you probably need to find a private venue, like a bar with a spare back room. The bar might want to host you as a form of passive advertising and a way to get people in the door - but just as easily, they may want you to pay a fee for the inconvenience you cause them and for the use of their space. And fair enough - after all, they still need to make their rent.

    Then, you have to actually put on the event. Picking out music, getting a good vibe going, dealing with assholes and telling them to go away, getting the word out, responding to emails, finding people to cover for you when you just can’t make it this week, etc. At which point you realize that you are essentially working a part time job, so you might as well get paid.





  • Good, but

    now ill see

    This is the wrong perspective. What you did was make your intentions clear and unambiguous and put the ball in her court. At this point, you should simply assume she has rejected you and you will never hear from her again. Thank God - now you have removed that uncertainty from your life! You no longer need to check your phone every 30 seconds to see if you’ve gotten a message.

    So now that your mind is free, and your conscience is clear, and you know you did everything you could in this situation, you can focus on something else. Something like making yourself more appealing to more women, and then asking those women out on dates.



  • Patience is a virtue, but in this case, sitting on your hands and waiting weeks/months/years until you get another match is not a winning strategy. If you aren’t getting many matches, you need to do the things which will result in getting more matches. Which means getting a better tinder profile. Which means becoming a hotter, more interesting guy, and accumulating high quality photos of yourself being hot and interesting.

    Any dating advice that doesn’t start with “make yourself into the kind of person that the kind of person you want to date wants to date” is garbage advice. In the dating marketplace, you can’t be out there looking for “the one” who will just accept you just as you are no matter what. First of all, because these people are incredibly rare. Second of all, because people with such rock bottom standards typically have those standards because they are lonely, because no one wants to date them, because they are walking red flags. And third, because if you ever actually find “the one”, you will perpetually live in fear of losing them because “you’ll never get a chance like this again”, which leads to being a needy little bitch that caters to all their partner’s whims.

    Don’t do that! Just make yourself more appealing, and then you’ll have options.


  • Y’all matched on tinder and traded igs, it isn’t creepy for you to message her - that’s the whole point!

    Wanna know the secret to talking to girls? The secret is that women are very forgiving. They’ll forgive you for being annoying, or dumb, or awkward, or creepy, or a jerk. But the one thing they’ll never forgive you for is being boring. Hence, the winning strategy with women is to always swing for the fences. Make a dirty joke, or tease her mercilessly, or just fucking ask her on a date! Anything is better than ho-hum fact-sharing conversation!

    Here’s the thing - right now you’re all torn up over whether or not she likes you. Whether or not she is flaking on you. So what do you really want? You want to know. So send her a message where you are completely, unambiguously broadcasting your interest in going on a date with her. Then, forget about her. Send that message, just assume that she is now a dead lead, and move on with your life. And maybe you’ll be pleasantly surprised.