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  • SterlingPooper [none/use name]@hexbear.net
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    9 days ago

    Went to a social event. Had a short conversation with someone who sat with me. Still hovering around generally, and then leaving after a short time.

    Going up to someone feels like a bad idea, introducing myself feels like a violation of their boundaries.

    Honestly, I need things on a level playing field. If I’m in a group of any kind and two people are like, clicking, or already know each other, my brain really latches onto that. I’d prefer if we were all strangers, so I don’t feel like I have to play catch up. But my instinct is to back off the minute I suspect that they know or like that person better than me.

    Like if we were a group of strangers plunged into a scenario or situation together. Holy shit I’m going to go on Survivor so I can make friends

    • Keld [he/him, any]@hexbear.net
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      9 days ago

      I get it. I will say thought that just going to a social event and hovering is still a step up from not going.

      Going up to someone feels like a bad idea, introducing myself feels like a violation of their boundaries.

      I totally feel the same, and I know you’ve also heard the counter of “It’s obviously not. You wouldn’t feel it was a violation of your boundaries if someone in a social setting said hi to you, so why would they”. We just gotta work at it until it feels less wrong.