Hexbear elders have mentioned people couldn’t not be weird on the dating comm so it was shut down and the volcel vanguard became ascendant.

For sex? Hookup sites.

For dating? They’re called unicorns because bi people that will like both of you and also fit into your already pre-existing relationship without it becoming a disaster do not exist.

c/dating

There is absolutely no interaction you can have with anyone else about sex/dating, related to sex/dating or in the context of sex/dating that someone has not made a post about how it gives them the ick. Stop worrying about how internet people perceive you and worry exclusively about whether something is actually a good thing to do.

as someone who is poly imo, adding someone to an existing relationship is never a good idea. expecting someone to integrate into an existing relationship as a third partner just doesn’t really work and it’s much better to just find someone you want to date as an individual. trying to find a bi person who will like both of you is called unicorn hunting for a reason. and is also preeeeetty heteronormative/monogamous-normative? so

if its just for sex and not for dating idk i dont rly do sex

There’s a polyamory comm although I dunno if it’s still around. I should get back to trying to post there if it is.

Anyway the only ethical way to do is it to really not, in my opinion.

Read some books like more than 2 or polysecure, go to couples counseling, and then decide to open your relationship. At which point use apps like feeld (and be very open and clear about what you’re looking for), go to munches or other community polyamory or non monogamy events, make community with other people who also do ethical non monogamy…and once you’ve done all that you’re probably ready to ethically unicorn hunt. And even then you’ll still probably fuck it up.

Anyway open to any questions about this. I am an experienced polyamorous person who has pretty much done it all. I’d share more credentials but I don’t want to doxx myself. I am not an expert but I know a lot and have a lot of community polyamorous experience.

Honestly, idk…, 4 months ago I was the unicorn trans-fem apparently. At a monthly tenants union conference this couple came up to me and literally said the fucking line, “We really liked your vibe and saw you across the meeting… [etc]” like fucking THREE TIMES. But my autistic ass thought they were just like, complimenting my gender and outfit, so i was like, “OMGG ^w* thanbks you so much loll :33”

Then like 10 minutes later on my way home I realized they were hitting on me and holy shit am i fucking socially dumb.

Anyway, i would suggest to me more straightforward and less innuendo-ish and like, maybe asking for their number and establishing a connection and talking with them first so it doesn’t seem like a fetishistic chaser thing to the unicorn.

Get on feeld and lower your standards

Fantastic timing m’lord and lady, ol’ Jimmney the chimney sweep was itching for a good ol’ spot of the fucking and sucking, 'eh? Whatta ya say guv?

Try not being codependent

Then you can have threesomes or whatever like a normal person

stop fucking

Clear expectations & communication.

At this point in my life, if y’all see me at the bar and ask, it’s probably gonna just be a yes. No guarantee on being a unicorn tho.

be in the queer bdsm scene and be various types of genderqueer/trans and meet a cool person and kind of date them and have play dates for a year or so

helps to be best friends with your partner and be super fun together and you find a person that likes you each individually and whatever your combined personality is

just an anecdote take what you will from it

Grindr