Physically safe - but you’re gonna get sassed to within an inch of your life.
Three guys wearing a red shirt
three clones of tom scott, who say “we are standing in an elevator going to the 5th floor” in perfect unison as you enter
Sourced from the island of Tom Scotts.
Can we do 2 adult men and a bear?
At the same time?
It’s the Internet, we can do anything.
Everywhere they went people were getting kidnapped, orcs were invading, trees were coming to life, and the dead were rising. Id want to be far away from that elevator.
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You take that back, I protect my marines while playing!
You know… As much as possible while charging headfirst into the most powerful empire the galaxy has seen in 100,000 years hell bent on destroying humanity and all we represent…
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Look bro, I just handed you an entire SPNKR rocket launcher and a Scorpion jump seat, whatever you do with those afterward is no longer my concern. I’m busy driving.
You know for a fact that they’ll literally coming charging across the countryside to rescue you though
Not much countryside for the charging in most elevators, though 🤔
They probably wouldn’t be that familiar with the workings of a lift either
Only one of them.
But Legolas could poke out the ceiling panel with the tip of his bow and Aragorn could boost Gimli up with a rope.
My two older brothers and my dad
So ackshually…
Aragorn was descended from Elros who was a half-elf, but that was so long ago he may or may not be a full man depending on how racist one is about miscegenation.
Legolas was an elf and Gimli was a dwarf, so explicitly not Men.
How about Eomer and Faramir instead?
Men as in males, yes.
Men as in humans, mostly no
Elros and Elrond had a choice as to become Eldar or Edain. Elrond chose Eldar, while Elros chose Edain. Once they chose their mixed nature was resolved.
Not exactly, since the Númenóreans still had longer lives than Men due to their elven heritage. So while one could absolutely make the argument they were Men, there’s also a case to be made saying they weren’t pureblooded Men.
one drop
Boromir would’ve made them feel safer.
Faramir didn’t try to take the Ring from Frodo, unlike Boromir.
Boromir literally picked the ring up and handed it back to Frodo. He was tested and passed.
The Fellowship broke apart because Boromir tried to take the Ring from Frodo at Amon Hen and Frodo used it to disappear and run from him.
The Fellowship broke apart because it wasn’t strong enough to make the journey. It never was. Bormir is the reason that the Ringbearer was able to make it away from the Fellowship’s camp and eventually to Mordor.
He was a hero. He lived as one and died as one.
I didn’t say he wasn’t. I don’t fault him for it; no one could resist the power the Ring promised forever. But it’s a fact that his moment of weakness is what caused the party to split; because that’s exactly what happened.
I tried to come up with a counter argument and realized pretty quickly that I didn’t want to.
I mean, they’re objectively correct.
What’s the counter-argument ? Let’s hear it
Figures that the safest men to be stuck with aren’t human men.
Aragorn?
He’s 87 years old at the start of LOTR.
He descends from Elros the Half-Elf.Yeah, but that just makes him a much-better-than-average human.
He’s got Elven heritage. He’s the 64th descendant of Elros, brother of Elrond. I think he’s also decendend from a Maiar as Elros and Elrond’s great great grandmother was Melian.
Is the elevator spacious?
I can’t believe how jacked Arnold is here. It’s truly remarkable.
Thats not even his peak, he was more jacked as Hercules and in the first Terminator film imo, before his movie career.
True that.
Arnold’s got a decent number of allegations against him, but Andre would protect you so I guess it’s honestly a freebie for the other two if he’s in the mix.
Andre was a sweetheart, but a famous alcoholic. You’d have to worry about him passing out drunk. You don’t want to get crushed by a 500 pound teddy bear in a small space.
There’s a story of him passing out drunk in a hotel bar and the staff just having to let him stay the night where he fell because they couldn’t move him.
Ok I recognise Andre and Arnold, who’s the dude on the left?
Wilt Chamberlain.
The only NBA player to individually score 100 points in a game.
3x
I’d choose: Boromir, Ned Stark, and Sean Bean.
No way anything bad can happen to me with those magnets around.
The whole elevator would just crash through the foundation. You’d be collateral when Death gets a 3 for 1 final destination style.
Nah, I think it’d go more like this:
- Get it in the elevator and see them all in there.
- Go to press the button for your floor (the top floor) and see that it’s already pressed.
- Have a pleasant trip up.
- Arrive at your floor and the doors open.
- All three politely allow you to exit first.
- Step out of the lift safely.
- Elevator malfunctions, plummets and crashes through the foundation.
- Walk off thinking how nice they all were.
Jᴀᴄᴋᴘᴏᴛ.
I dunno. Might take Sharpe instead of Ned Stark, good to have someone that knows how to use a rifle
Harry Houdini, Angus MacGyver, and James Randi
I think all of them are dead, I’m not sure I will be safe with a bunch of dead people in the elevator
Richard Dean Anderson/MacGyver/General O’Neil is alive.
Don’t scare me like that!
His first name is Angus?
Hate to be contrary but I’d think you couldn’t be safer if they were all dead
LOTR spoiler
Aragorn is dead too!
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I’d also go for Data, Riker, and LaForge.
You need O’Brien to act as a lightning rod for any misfortune.
Please… No more…
I didn’t realize there was a Miles O’Brien floating around on Lemmy!
We’re friends now. Just accept it.
Now roll for shirt color.
Alright.
1d4, and this is the order; 1 = red, 2 = yellow, 3 = blue, 4 = green.
And I got 3, so that’s blue! :D
Oopsie poopsie, you got Lore!
Also the other Riker…
I’ll take Thomas Riker any day over Ensign Picard.
And Geordi has gotten fixated on your engineering skills…
Thomas Riker was alright, it’s not like he’s from the mirror universe
Ehhh debatable if Data is a “man”, and LaForge… well, he wouldn’t be on my list. My picks from TNG to share a turbolift would would be Picard, O’Brien and Riker. Picard would be either ruminating on some deep crisis or current drama and be quiet and majestic. O’Brien would be preoccupied and anxious about some project and trying to build up the courage to talk to the senior officers about it. Riker would be relaxed, polite and crack a joke that would make you chuckle.
If counting non-human male characters across ST, then Data, Odo and Spock.
non-zero chance Riker tries to flirt with you
Sure but he would handle rejection well and laugh it off. Riker, afaicr, respected signals and consent. He flirted with people who seemed open to it and was perfectly professional to those who weren’t. What makes flirting feel unsafe is the threat of men taking it badly if rejected.
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Pretty sure Data’s status was solidified in Measure of a Man. I was also keeping it era and crew consistent, so no cross-era or cross-crew groups. The reason being that it is in keeping with the meme above.
As for why I chose Data, Riker, and LaForge; for their technical problem solving skills. And that they work really well together solving technical problems. I don’t need anyone to be majestic or fret about some project. I need them to fix the elevator. XD
I mean… No Worf? I feel like he’d be the safest choice together with Data
Eh, he can have a temper, I know it doesn’t necessarily come up day to day but when he’s pissed he doesn’t always contain his anger. He’s safer than a lot of people but no he doesn’t make my top three. My runner up for top three male non-humans was actually Garak.
Can’t recall him hurting anyone out of anger.
Plus zen-Worf is about the only good thing that came out of PIC. Love the look as well.
He’s a cutie! What temper?
Cheery Littlebottom?
I’ll choose chaos. Picard, Riker, and Q.
I feel like you’d have more chaos with Picard, Martok, and Q
Mariner, Martok, and Q
I said chaos, not Galaxy wide devastation
LaForge is occasionally kinda creepy…
Only if there’s a particularly attractive hologram nearby. Not a problem when stuck in an elevator.
The Doctor, with his mobile emitter, disagrees.
Luke, Han, and R2D2.
I don’t know about feeling “safe” with Han, but unsafe in a good way. Like I trust him but not myself. Artoo could probably plug in and fix the elevator, too.
Eh, I’d say R2-D2 doesn’t count as a “man” at all, being neither human nor clearly gendered in any way.
C-3P0, our translator for R2’s boopspeak uses he/him pronouns for the little guy and so does at least Luke so he’s effectively masc presenting. One could argue he’s a man but the society he’s in effectively classes sentient droids as property without the reserve they do for non-artificial species and are unlikely to confer the other cultural aspects “manhood” onto a droid.
Not Obi-wan?
I’m old school. He didn’t make it out of the first movie.
If I grew up with prequels, then yeah. Chewie as well if I could fit a fourth.
What about that boy, what was his name? Anie i think. He seems innocent enough.
On one hand, he’s the negociator. On the other hand he’s the hand and legs taker. (Whether or not you want him in the elevator, depends on the hand he chooses to take.)
That’s a good combo too.
Riker?
He’s charismatic and playfully flirty but receptive to signals and a good communicator. He wouldn’t do anything untoward without consent.
Sure, but you’d still come out of the elevator pregnant.
But that would happen completely consensual.
Yeah, but it might be inconvenient if you weren’t planning to become pregnant. Your husband or wife might be upset too.
I hardly even know ‘er!
Let’s be real. We’re all NPCs so if any of the men are from something with action, we’ll probably end up dead. My pick would be Bob Ross, Mr. Rogers, and Steve Irwin. Super calming and chill
Steve was an amazing person but I wouldn’t describe him as chill.
He was pure overwhelming enthusiastic energy.
Fair point. Well, he’ll balance out the other two then. It’ll be like drugs (I assume), two downers and one upper
I never imagined I’d ever see someone compare Mr. Rogers to drugs, but here we are.
“Speed into one nostril, coke into the other”-energy
Not if yer a fucken orc!
