Hi all, I have autism, not ADHD (as far as I know), and I have some big issues when I’m waiting for things to happen. Like, say I have to go out at 5pm. I wake up at 10am, but I can’t do anything all day because I’m waiting for the thing at 5pm to happen.

Anyone have similar experience/tips?

  • Lussy [any, hy/hym]@hexbear.netEnglish
    68·
    6 days ago

    That one meme where your day’s calendar is blocked off with a 4 hour spiritual prep for the 1 hour activity and the rest of the day to destress

  • ALoafOfBread@lemmy.mlEnglish
    31·
    6 days ago

    You could try to schedule other things for you to do before then. So, if you wake up at 10am and have 7 hours until 5pm, you could plan for travel time to that event and various other things to do before then (errands, fun, work, etc). This is what I do, I have some anxiety when there’s something i have to do that disrupts my routine. So I make plans for how I’ll spend my time.

    Like:

    1. wake up 10am

    2. get ready and eat breakfast until 10:30

    3. go to the gym until 11:45

    4. go home and shower (done by 12:20)

    5. do housework until 1:15

    6. get groceries, done by 2:30

    7. eat lunch, done by 3:15

    8. tv/games, done by 4

    9. get ready for thing at 5, done by 4:30

    10. drive to thing, leave house by 4:45

  • XiaCobolt [she/her]@hexbear.netEnglish
    19·
    6 days ago

    As others have said, scheduling lots of things on the day can help, so it’s not waiting for one thing but going to one appointment to another etc. Even if that appointment is go eat noodles or talk to friend on phone etc. But the downside is sometimes you can wear yourself out.

    Lately I will also throw on a podcast and start doing chores. If I’m going to wait things might be as well be clean.

  • FlakesBongler [they/them]@hexbear.netEnglish
    21·
    6 days ago

    I find that reminding myself that time passes faster when I do stuff tends to help

    I might be anxious about future events, but I absolutely hate being bored

  • nothx [he/him]@hexbear.netEnglish
    6·
    6 days ago

    I definitely experience this. It’s like decision paralysis except with anticipation.

    One thing that has helped me is working backwards from the time I know I have to be somewhere. Doing this allows my to game out how much time I actually need to get ready and get there, once I understand that timeline, it makes it way more clear how much time I really have.

    It doesn’t always work because I still struggle with the time management a little, but it does more often than not relieve some of the anxiety I feel during the lead up.

    However, no matter what I do, I always end up arriving to the obligation way earlier than I need to, lol.

      • nothx [he/him]@hexbear.netEnglish
        4·
        6 days ago

        No problem! Always eager to share some stuff I’ve learned from my decades of coping without understanding, lol. Now I have the context I needed and it’s still a struggle.

        Another thing I will say is if you have a partner and you haven’t already done so, read them in on it. My wife and I have helped each other immensely when it comes to keeping these types of behaviors in check.

        Good luck, comrade!

  • whatnots [it/its, he/him]@hexbear.netEnglish
    5·
    6 days ago

    i get by this by trying to schedule everything super early in the day so the wait mode period is greatly reduced. i haven’t figured out what to do when i cant do that though. it’s genuinely the worst.

  • mayo_cider [he/him]@hexbear.netEnglish
    5·
    6 days ago

    I usually get everything ready to leave, then I set an alarm for an hour before I have to get going

    I don’t have the anxiety of missing it if I’m focused on something else and I still have enough buffer to check that I’m actually ready to leave

  • Pnut@lemm.eeEnglish
    4·
    5 days ago

    It’s pretty specific. But I started drawing my ideas. I always think about mechanical design so I grabbed some graphing paper and pencils and started doing “old school” type design sheets (lots of straight lines, measurements etc.) It fills so much time very well. If it’s 10-5pm then I would have to set an alarm or I would be so focused on the designs that I miss the appointment. Not only am I getting better at drawing but I also have to do a lot of unit conversion and research on parts or how a certain mechanism works, so I’m learning a bunch.

    You can always clean/organise your space. I’m bad at it but if I can get started then I have a couple of hours of deep cleaning done.

    Just try starting something. Get into something and the time will go by.

  • lil_tank [any, he/him]@hexbear.netEnglish
    4·
    6 days ago

    I experienced this a lot, the way I manage it is by doing something I know I can interrupt quickly and come back to easily and setting up an alarm on my phone with the promise I will drop everything and start moving the second it rings. For me it works but it does require some self discipline for sure

      • XiaCobolt [she/her]@hexbear.netEnglish
        2·
        6 days ago

        My personal algorithm that I worked out for this is I budget 5min for every one hour block I expect the event or activity to take up. That’s how early I’m allowed (and conversely how late I will let some be without being annoyed).

        So 6hr event? Yeah I can be 30min early. 1hr appointment? Only 5min. etc

        (except being early to parties, that sucks for the host)

  • imogen_underscore [it/its, she/her]@hexbear.netEnglish
    3·
    6 days ago

    yeah like others have said having something else to do that day is helpful. but obviously that takes spoons. I’ll try to fill the time sometimes with chores/housework so I’m not just waiting and scrolling or whatever. but mostly i feel you big time and I’m not sure how to overcome it exactly.